it's here!

there's a new addition to the oldest mall i know! see parts of the sm sky garden --

fearing change

for the most part, i like change. i crave it. it's a constant need within me but always, always, it comes along with the constant dread of not knowing what the tomorrow will throw at me.

there's a constant need of change within me, but always, i'm in constant dread of it.

love does not last...

when one of the partners loves the other just because that person fulfills only what he/she desires and nothing else. if that desire is fulfilled, and there is nothing beyond that, then love or that relationship will not last.

weird dream #n

i had moved to a new place. it was a two-floor building with three rooms on the second floor. i was occupying one of the corner rooms (most probably the north room). the windows have a screen on it, like the ones i have back at home. my companion in that floor was somebody i've known for long. i can't tell who she was but i felt that it was M, who was my roommate in college.

the second scene was us with a group of friends and friends of friends eating a restaurant. we were paying and i took out the money from my black little purse. after paying, we decided to go to this rally/party and there, we were asked to donate for something. i couldn't find my purse but there was enough money on my pocket for a donation. i gave 20php. i thought that was really a big contribution then because the peso-rupiah (or was it baht?) rate is almost the same, or the peso is a little bit stronger against the dollar. after the donation, off we went to the apartment building.

it was then in my room that i realized that my purse was really gone. i realized that it must have happened that after paying at the resto, i left my purse there. yet my friends have a different idea. they think that it was one of their friends who took it (as i am writing this, it dawned on me that that person was a classmate last sem whom i did not talk with at all). they said that they saw him come by my room when i wasn't there. it was really suspicious but at that moment, my purse was important, i had to go back to that restaurant. i decided to take a cab then since the apartment was on the other side of town (much the same as when i lived at st catherine's while the department was at downing).

on the cab, the indian driver said that he'd give me some kind of a special offer on the fare if i'd exchange the earrings i was wearing. it was the same earrings that i've been wearing lately. i almost got off the cab but we might have come to an agreement because he decided to take me to the resto, although i'd forgotten where i'm going because the place i directed him to was the laundry house beside it. i can't even remember the street so i gave him some landmarks, almost the same as Nando's near the corner of the earth sciences and regent street at cam. unfortunately, we got lost and it seems like we were on the highway going away from the university center. we were then stopped by a patrolman and out of his kindness, directed us to an information center. there, we found out that we were in Stirling! my thought was, i didn't realize stirling was so near, i could have gone there when i was there before.

there, i befriended some people, and one of them, probably the barrister of the office, took to me. she later asked me if she could ask a favor, if i could buy her some stuff from boracay (that is, if i live near there) and have it sent to her by post. i was so surprised that i agreed to it, telling her i have a friend who just recently moved there (and that would be R who currently lives in cebu). as we were talking, i also realized i was talking with an accent - funny how things can change when you're in another place! at one time, i was in a place similar to home and then the next second, i was somewhere i would have love to go back to.

but that isn't the end of the dream. after minutes of conversation, a guy came in the center, and kissed the lady i was talking to. i was introduced to him as the son of the lady and he might now be very handsome but he's got the looks. he offered me a ride or something and i must said something so banal i can't even remember it. the next thing i knew, i was already awake...

now i'm glad i've written another weird dream.

B said that her mom's interpretation of these dreams is that i really want to go out but there's just no opportunity (especially of those dreams at the airport)...

the anthem

i want to write something of my deepest thoughts but i can't seem to write something that is truly significant. it makes me afraid to think that my brain is rotting away for nothing when when i was a kid, my parents thought i had a brilliant mind. my teachers in grade school says the same though i tend to veer of the straight path at times (i get into trouble once in a while), unlike my other "high-achieving" classmates. i wasn't even that popular in school eventhough i got good grades and graduated at the top of the class. in high school, it was the same, i was the average girl who gets good grades. i had a brilliant mind but not that brilliant if you get what i mean.

yes, i want to write something significant, something mind-blowing but for the life of me, what? maybe i should write about the way one should i think about the proper rendition of the national anthem. it had been on the news ever since nievera sang it at pacquiao's fight last april. my question is, how come these very same people did not make any fuss about the way it was sang by previous singers. they, too, did not adhere to the original piece by julian felipe. bautista even forgot the lyrics. was it excusable because he was nervous? shouldn't we, as filipinos learn the lyrics by heart because this one song, learned by heart and mind, can show the people how proud we are to be one? i am not a tibak, but i love my country. i have doubts if i could recite the anthem but i surely can sing it! i lament though the children of these country today. they sing the anthem the way they sing christmas carols - they have no idea of the lyrics nor they have any idea what they're singing about. they just blurt whatever words they think sounds like the original one. i lament all these. shouldn't teachers and parents teach these things, the anthem and christmas carols, properly? shouldn't it be a basic part of the education of our children? when i have kids, i would make sure that early on, my kids know how to sing the national anthem (even if by chance i marry someone with another nationality, then they should learn the other one, too!). i think the knowing of the anthem and what it stands for should be put in our hearts, the same way our love for God and our parents is. even the money professes something to that effect. isn't it written somewhere, 'for the love of God and country'?

maybe to keep the fuss out of this, the national anthem should just be sang as it should be, the way felipe wrote it. why create lots of versions to it when the original is beautiful as it is?

maybe as a review, i should write down the lyrics of our national anthem.

Lupang Hinirang
Julian Felipe

Bayang magiliw
Perlas ng silanganan
Alab ng puso sa dibdib mo'y buhay
Lupang Hinirang, duyan ka ng magiting
Sa manlulupig, di ka pasisiil
Sa dagat at bundok na simoy
At sa langit mong bughaw
May dilag ng watawat mo'y
Tagumpay na nagnininging
Ang bituin at araw niyan
Kailan pa ma'y di magdidilim
Lupa ng araw ng luwalhati't pagsinta
Buhay ay langit sa piling mo
Aming ligaya nang pag may mang-aapi
Ang mamatay ng dahil sa iyo

maybe to end this piece, i woud like to ask my countrymen, love our country by singing our anthem properly.

happy

happy, and grateful, for so many thinks --

- a successful day trek
- family in the house
- friends who are getting married