in town - birds and local market

yes, this is still not the end of my blog. i just divided them into three parts.

so there we were, walking past the armored tank and soldiers, going towards the local market when we noticed the birds in the electric lines. my dad had to tell us to walk faster or we would get poop on our heads. my mom and i couldn't just believe how many birds were there, sitting on those wires! granted that this is a phenomena in the city for a long time now, but everytime we see it, it just feels so weird (and scary sometimes). my mom said that it was even featured in a tourism story on tv -- about how one visitor has to notice the birds lining up in the wires along and across the streets. it is just so unbelievable. i even noticed that part of the streets smell of guano already. maybe in a few decades if this does not stop, the accummulation of their poop may give us a source of methane gas! :D

anyways, what i really wanted to talk about was how early it was when were there (just a little after 5 in the morning and still dark) at the market and how amazing the produce are. just lying there on the streets, over old tarps, are the day's freshest produce sold at really low prices! i would suggest that those who visit the city come here early to buy their vegetables before flying off to home or their next destination (sort of being in Baguio and you just had to buy your vegetables before leaving for Manila). it was really a grand adventure with my parents and i'm glad i got to discover this again of my hometown - zamboanga.

in town - armored tank

but my story doesn't end there!

after the mass, my parents decided to go to the local open market to purchase the vegetables we will need for this Christmas eve's dinner. leaving the cathedral, the first thing i noticed was that McDonald's, which was just across the cathedral (we only have a two-lane street), was already open and there were just so many people converging in that area. i noticed then the native dishes sold by some early entrepreneurs. sometimes, seeing these things make me realize that this habit is very Filipino, and not just confined to the people of the north -- after a misa de gallo, people feast on native dishes like bibingka, puto bumbong or suman. this event just makes me really feel like i'm at home and i'm glad i was able to feel it today.

anyway, the biggest surprise maybe, was finding the army's armored tank beside McDonald's and several military guys with their full gear on guarding the streets. then it hit me again. with all the tranquility inside the church, there is still danger outside. though the city do not suffer terrors such as suffered by our neighboring islands, it is still always good to be on guard. though sometimes realization make you feel scared, it's better than not being prepared at all. when i gave this comment to my mom, she told me that we ought to be grateful for these men for standing guard over us. i do not have any objections to that. i am grateful that they are there, protecting us, even giving up a good morning sleep for us. i write this in hope that others who read this blog, also give the soldiers the thanks they deserve. granted that some people in the military are corrupt and without morals, we cannot let go of the fact that there are still men and women in the service who are honorable -- those who do their jobs because they love our country. i believe in those men and women and it is to them that i am grateful.

misa de gallo

today i attended with my parents my first and only misa de gallo this year. when i was back in manila, there was never a chance to attend the misa de gallo, even the anticipated one. it's for simple fact that in the evenings, i had errands to do in my last week in town and in the mornings, i'm afraid to go alone on my own. yet today, my mom woke me up at the unholy hour of 315 am so we can attend the 415 mass at the cathedral. i thought we were so early but when we arrived there, we had to grab any monoblock chairs we can outside the cathedral. if you've seen the cathedral here in zamboanga, it's really huge. that shows you how many still believes in Christ and really do celebrate Christmas.

the cathedral however wasn't decorated much except for the symbolic belen. my mom said that the bishop didn't want much pomp in the cathedral, in light of what happened to our brothers and sisters who were inundated by natural calamities near the end of the year. come to think of it, i heard in the news yesterday that a large area in both makita and pasay city burned to the ground yesterday; that means, people living there had to celebrate their Christmas in the streets because they have nowhere to go to and they have no money. this is a terrible time for them and i cannot be sad for them. on the other hand, burning to the ground an area occupied by informal settlers could give the government an opportunity to rebuild that area that gives those who live there a more "dignified" (can't find the best word, sorry) place to live in. just my two cents. well, back to my misa de gallo story.

so there we were, sitting outside the cathedral, listening to the priest. the homily teaches us about appreciation and expression of our gratefulness to the good things that are shown to us. we should never forget to say Thank You and I Love You.

but mind you, the choir was so horrible (or was it just the acoustics?). i can't help but notice the grating noise they make sometimes (especially the high pitched one) and they make me wince sometimes. the choir loft was wasted on them. i can't help but wonder also if the organ they were using was the same one that we used whenever we have our Friday mass in my grade school years. if that's true, the organ is older than me by give or take ten years? amazing!

and while i am writing this, all i can think of is being grateful to be able to attend this last misa de gallo with my parents. thank you God and happy birthday, Jesus!

finally

i. am. finally. home.

i love it!

new moon

new moon by stephenie meyer

if there was one reason why i'd be watching new moon, it would be because i would like to see the wolf. in the trailers, he actually seems good-looking and cool. last night, i got the chance to watch the movie with my sister and yes, jacob black is so hot and so cool! i say this, based only in the movie, because i have never read the books yet. i don't know how his character in the books really is. lea said he is not that cool because he was really obsessive about the female lead. well anyway, i do not wish to discuss his character as i only know little and it's only based in the movie. what i can say is that it showed that he loved bella and he'd do anything to protect her and keep her safe regardless of his own safety. who wouldn't wish for a guy like that, right?

as the movie progressed, i just can't help but laugh though, about most of the girls' reaction towards jacob's great body or edward's "good" looks. it was kind of weird to hear college girls cry out like that, like they were still in high school, or as if they're just going to die at that spot because of those two guys. as for me, okay, i really did appreciate jacob's overall physical attributes and i like his character there so if they'd ask me for a vote, he'd get mine hands down! hahaha! :) i hope i could see him in more movies soon.

just another thought, though. how come Black is the most favored name for a canine in the movies? think jacob black and sirius black.

crying over you won't fix whatever it is that's going wrong between us. i just need to write this down for now so i can get it off my chest and hopefully help myself  move on. yoiu know i hate fighting in whatever form it is and i can't help but think dark thoughts. that is not what or how i want myself to be. i want to be happy but being away from you like this now isn't making me happy.

why do you ignore me? how do you go on ignoring me? you once said why do i think this way, we were supposed to be happy. but how are we supposed to be happy when you ignore me and when you do deign to talk to me, that is only to say that you are sorry because you have been a rebel and had been seeing someone else and that for a while, you have forgotten about me. was that what you mean by happy? maybe we do have a different idea of what being happy means. how can you ask me on why i do think that way, that you are ignoring me. aren't you, aren't you?

over the years, i have been telling myself to stop hanging on to you but i'm weak. i haven't done it and i'm crawling my way through it. you make me sad. you make me cry. you make me long for something better but all i see about better times is still with you. i can't help it and i hate it. you make me hope but i know it's hopeless. you don't want to be happy with me, you don't make that effort with me. i'm sorry. i'm sorry, too.

pahabol

tang-ina mo, pare! ayaw kong maghabol pero baliw ako sa iyo at ginagawa mo akong tanga! ginawa mo akong isang sirang plaka na tumutugtog pa rin ng paulit-ulit kahit sira na dahil sa gusto mo lang tumugtog ito. ganun naman tayo di ba? paulit-ulit na lang tayo sa ganito at walang pinanghahantungan. nakakapagod na pero bakit ganun? kahit pagod na ako, umaasa pa rin ako. ayaw na kitang habulin pero hindi... hindi ko mapigilan dahil mahal kita. gusto ko pa rin malaman kung may pag-asa pa nga ba tayo kahit na alam ko na iniiwasan mo na ako. hindi ba katangahan iyon? matalino naman ako, ah. nagmumukha lang akong tanga pagdating sa iyo. alam kong ayaw mo na sa akin pero bakit di ko mapigilang ipilit ang sarili ko sa iyo? tang-ina mo talaga, pare! puede bang diretsahin mo na ako? saktan mo na ako ng todo-todo para isahan na lang please. isang bagsakan na lang at pagkatapos noon ay wala na. mangyayari kaya iyon? sa palagay ko ay hindi pero libre ang mangarap. naisip ko lang, kung sinaktan mo ba ako ng todo-todo ay mapapalitan ang pag-ibig ko ng galit sa iyo, o hindi? sabi nga sa isang pelikulang napanood ko, hindi kita minahal ng sobra para pagtuunan pa kita ng galit (o pagkamuhi).

yun lang. grabe pare, ang sakit ha! nakakabwisit ka na....