envious

so envious of their happiness. i want one for myself but as it is, i have none of what they have.

two couple friends of mine are tying the knot this april, just two days apart and i'm expected to be there. of course, i will be. nobody can stop me. but just right now, what i'm having is mixed feelings. i'm happy, envious, sad. happy for them, envious of what they have right now, sad that i don't have that. nor do i even have that special person you want to spend the rest of your life with. how i wish but i stop myself because, i know, deep down, i always have to be careful for what i wish for.

so cautious. and so scared. and so envious right now.

but on a happy tone, i wish my friends well and i'm gonna be there at the wedding drinking champagne for you and dancing my heart out! can't wait! :D

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1:28p office desk - i wanna get married too, and have pretty babies...*sigh* at the back of my mind, it's telling me to be careful, really careful of what to wish for... oh well, this is just a temporary affliction so might as well wallow in it for today.

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and yes, as crazy as it seems, i gave my office address today. if it's all for taking risks, then go! might as well do it rather than have what if's questions later on...