random thoughts

why do i feel that loving him is so wrong, yet it feels so right? truly, love is such an oxymoron. why is it that you dream, yet you fear of dreaming it in case it will come true? how is it that you can't move on because you're waiting for something that might never happen, happen? *sigh*

*****

two couple friends of mine got married this week in such lovely wedding ceremonies, with such heartwarming, heart-wrenching vows. made me think of wanting to make my own wedding vow now. when i told my friends last friday i'm wanting to write down my wedding entourage list, i was reminded that i can only write half of it because the other half will have to be filled in by the groom. yeah, i forgot about the groom, which until now is still blank in my paper... unless it's gonna be him... i wish and yet... i keep myself from saying it out loud in case it might just come true.

*****

i'm thinking that my brain is a little bit out of practice. i feel less smart than i was in high school (or even in college). now i worry about how i'm gonna teach my kids math when they go start their schooling. yes, so far away but i'm already thinking about it. it's just because, i want to teach my kids myself, especially when they have homeworks. i just wish it will come back when the time comes. i don't want to reach that point when i have to tell my kids that they have to look for the answers in the books. i want them to learn it from me, just as i learned it from my dad when i was a kid. at about eight or nine, while my classmates were still learning simple multiplication, i can already do complicated multiplications. not fast, but adequate and accurate calculations. well, i just want my kids to be smart. they may not be honor kids, but i want them to be able to get good grades, and with a whole-rounded education.

*****

if i could sit with you on a quiet beach and just hold hands and watch the sunset, it would be a dream come true... if we could lie on a hammock on a beach while the sun sets, with my head resting on your chest and your fingers playing with my hair, it would be heaven... yes, if only... and if only i'm not afraid to hope and look forward to it... if only...

it's the time in our lives now...

that everybody's getting married one by one...

just attended two weddings this week... wow...

friendship renewal

despite the pain i'm feeling right now, i'm still grateful for my friends who never cease to amaze me. i'm grateful to say -- I HAVE VERY GOOD FRIENDS!

this year has been like a renewal of friendship for me. (shiet, do I mean something to you?! do I, do I???) the start of the year saw me having started it with my college blockmates with a dinner. i don't see them often now but with just one careful planning, we were able to dine together and each other's company. same as with my dorm friends, who for years, had given me support when i was still in college. never did i realize that until now, they are still there, helping in their simple ways - like their kind words and presence - to help you carry the burden, even just by listening to your worries. I's visit had renewed that bond. i'm so glad to know such friends.

and now, almost everyone is getting married. i feel honored to be invited... but a little bit inside me is sad because i envy them their happiness. but still, happiness overweighs the envy so it doesn't really matter -- at all.

thank God, for renewing my friendships.

pinoy nga talaga

observations regarding philippine transport system: it wasn't as scary as i thought it was... or maybe it's just because i had a companion when i made the trip.

when i was in the uk at 23, it never occurred to me to get scared about making a 12-hr bus ride from cambridge-london-edinburgh. but at that time, i thought that when i made this trip back home, i won't be able to because i'd surely get lost. but years later, after making that pagudpud trip, i've changed my mind. not totally, but i'm glad it changed...

you see, in the uk, bus stops are right where they say it will be. in pinas, it's wherever a person needs to stop or hop on to! there's no such thing as a proper place for taking the bus. but what changed my mind was the relative ease on how we were able to hop on- hop off from one place to the other. the tricycle drivers at pagudpud are trustworthy (i hope!) and when asked, bus conductors/barkers answer your questions (most of them anyway). we hopped on a bus to pagudpud at their sampaloc station, then after arriving at pagudpud, we took a tricycle. it was also the same tricycle that took us to the bus station going to laoag the next day. after that laoag stop, we hopped on a bus again to go vigan.

additional story and grammar correction to follow...

pagudpud travelogue

things we learned during our pagudpud trip:

we learned that for Florida and RCJ bus, you need to get reservations. Partas does not accept reservations and only RCJ among the three accept aisle seating. we were desperate to get on a bus as early as possible so we got aisle seats (monobloc seating). we were able to get real seats though when those who had reservations came in late. we paid Php550.

the tricycle driver whom we flagged down after hopping off the bus was very kind, bringing us from place to place so we could look for a place we can afford. and there we learned that in pagudpud, homestays can either be expensive or very cheap. the one we stayed in near tera rika resort (because every suggested resorts were fully booked already) cost us PhP1500 but some girls we met there were able to get a homestay place for only 250/head. this is near the polaris beach resort. for the search of a good place to stay in, we paid him Php50. believe me, it was very cheap with all the stops and asking he did for us just to get a place.

manong lito, the driver, also offered us a tour of the area. his trip costs Php600, either north or south area. for both areas, it's Php1200. not bad because for that amount we were able to go to bangui windmills, cape bojeador, kabigan falls, bantay abot cave, agua verde (?) resort, blue lagoon. he also stops at every place we wanted so we could just get our pictures. he even became our camera man! he also talks to the locals for us when we need to ask a lot of questions. best of all, he's one of the DOT accredited tricycle drivers there so he knows all a tour guide should know. if you need his services, which i am recommending, you can call/txt manong lito at 09266709995. if you can't really find a place to live in, he can offer transient stay at his house.

going back, we decided to catch a bus (Php 70) to laoag and from there, took another bus to vigan (Php100). but before leaving laoag, we were able to visit the ilocano museum which is walking distance from the bus station, the st william's cathedral and the city hall.

at vigan, we stayed at cordillera inn. for Php1500, our twin-room was airconditioned, with cable tv, hot shower and breakfast and it's right on calle crisologo (the cobbled street, for those who are not familiar with the street name). via calesa, we were able to see the 1500s belfry, try pottery at the banga factory, and crisologo museum. that's only in an hour! and it cost us only Php150.

caffe molinari

loving their traditional hot choco -- i'd definitely go back there soon, and more often! fortunately, it's just one tricycle ride away from our apartment so i can go there whenever i want. actually, i can even walk it. might probably take me around 15 mins to do it... sounds a good idea! that will build my appetite for the pasta they serve there and later for the creamy traditional hot choco! wow... the place is also great: quiet and secluded with good clientele.

caffe molinari is located at matalino st., near eunilaine at kalayaan avenue in quezon city. it's beside treehouse.