yes, this is still not the end of my blog. i just divided them into three parts.
so there we were, walking past the armored tank and soldiers, going towards the local market when we noticed the birds in the electric lines. my dad had to tell us to walk faster or we would get poop on our heads. my mom and i couldn't just believe how many birds were there, sitting on those wires! granted that this is a phenomena in the city for a long time now, but everytime we see it, it just feels so weird (and scary sometimes). my mom said that it was even featured in a tourism story on tv -- about how one visitor has to notice the birds lining up in the wires along and across the streets. it is just so unbelievable. i even noticed that part of the streets smell of guano already. maybe in a few decades if this does not stop, the accummulation of their poop may give us a source of methane gas! :D
anyways, what i really wanted to talk about was how early it was when were there (just a little after 5 in the morning and still dark) at the market and how amazing the produce are. just lying there on the streets, over old tarps, are the day's freshest produce sold at really low prices! i would suggest that those who visit the city come here early to buy their vegetables before flying off to home or their next destination (sort of being in Baguio and you just had to buy your vegetables before leaving for Manila). it was really a grand adventure with my parents and i'm glad i got to discover this again of my hometown - zamboanga.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
in town - armored tank
but my story doesn't end there!
after the mass, my parents decided to go to the local open market to purchase the vegetables we will need for this Christmas eve's dinner. leaving the cathedral, the first thing i noticed was that McDonald's, which was just across the cathedral (we only have a two-lane street), was already open and there were just so many people converging in that area. i noticed then the native dishes sold by some early entrepreneurs. sometimes, seeing these things make me realize that this habit is very Filipino, and not just confined to the people of the north -- after a misa de gallo, people feast on native dishes like bibingka, puto bumbong or suman. this event just makes me really feel like i'm at home and i'm glad i was able to feel it today.
anyway, the biggest surprise maybe, was finding the army's armored tank beside McDonald's and several military guys with their full gear on guarding the streets. then it hit me again. with all the tranquility inside the church, there is still danger outside. though the city do not suffer terrors such as suffered by our neighboring islands, it is still always good to be on guard. though sometimes realization make you feel scared, it's better than not being prepared at all. when i gave this comment to my mom, she told me that we ought to be grateful for these men for standing guard over us. i do not have any objections to that. i am grateful that they are there, protecting us, even giving up a good morning sleep for us. i write this in hope that others who read this blog, also give the soldiers the thanks they deserve. granted that some people in the military are corrupt and without morals, we cannot let go of the fact that there are still men and women in the service who are honorable -- those who do their jobs because they love our country. i believe in those men and women and it is to them that i am grateful.
after the mass, my parents decided to go to the local open market to purchase the vegetables we will need for this Christmas eve's dinner. leaving the cathedral, the first thing i noticed was that McDonald's, which was just across the cathedral (we only have a two-lane street), was already open and there were just so many people converging in that area. i noticed then the native dishes sold by some early entrepreneurs. sometimes, seeing these things make me realize that this habit is very Filipino, and not just confined to the people of the north -- after a misa de gallo, people feast on native dishes like bibingka, puto bumbong or suman. this event just makes me really feel like i'm at home and i'm glad i was able to feel it today.
anyway, the biggest surprise maybe, was finding the army's armored tank beside McDonald's and several military guys with their full gear on guarding the streets. then it hit me again. with all the tranquility inside the church, there is still danger outside. though the city do not suffer terrors such as suffered by our neighboring islands, it is still always good to be on guard. though sometimes realization make you feel scared, it's better than not being prepared at all. when i gave this comment to my mom, she told me that we ought to be grateful for these men for standing guard over us. i do not have any objections to that. i am grateful that they are there, protecting us, even giving up a good morning sleep for us. i write this in hope that others who read this blog, also give the soldiers the thanks they deserve. granted that some people in the military are corrupt and without morals, we cannot let go of the fact that there are still men and women in the service who are honorable -- those who do their jobs because they love our country. i believe in those men and women and it is to them that i am grateful.
misa de gallo
today i attended with my parents my first and only misa de gallo this year. when i was back in manila, there was never a chance to attend the misa de gallo, even the anticipated one. it's for simple fact that in the evenings, i had errands to do in my last week in town and in the mornings, i'm afraid to go alone on my own. yet today, my mom woke me up at the unholy hour of 315 am so we can attend the 415 mass at the cathedral. i thought we were so early but when we arrived there, we had to grab any monoblock chairs we can outside the cathedral. if you've seen the cathedral here in zamboanga, it's really huge. that shows you how many still believes in Christ and really do celebrate Christmas.
the cathedral however wasn't decorated much except for the symbolic belen. my mom said that the bishop didn't want much pomp in the cathedral, in light of what happened to our brothers and sisters who were inundated by natural calamities near the end of the year. come to think of it, i heard in the news yesterday that a large area in both makita and pasay city burned to the ground yesterday; that means, people living there had to celebrate their Christmas in the streets because they have nowhere to go to and they have no money. this is a terrible time for them and i cannot be sad for them. on the other hand, burning to the ground an area occupied by informal settlers could give the government an opportunity to rebuild that area that gives those who live there a more "dignified" (can't find the best word, sorry) place to live in. just my two cents. well, back to my misa de gallo story.
so there we were, sitting outside the cathedral, listening to the priest. the homily teaches us about appreciation and expression of our gratefulness to the good things that are shown to us. we should never forget to say Thank You and I Love You.
but mind you, the choir was so horrible (or was it just the acoustics?). i can't help but notice the grating noise they make sometimes (especially the high pitched one) and they make me wince sometimes. the choir loft was wasted on them. i can't help but wonder also if the organ they were using was the same one that we used whenever we have our Friday mass in my grade school years. if that's true, the organ is older than me by give or take ten years? amazing!
and while i am writing this, all i can think of is being grateful to be able to attend this last misa de gallo with my parents. thank you God and happy birthday, Jesus!
the cathedral however wasn't decorated much except for the symbolic belen. my mom said that the bishop didn't want much pomp in the cathedral, in light of what happened to our brothers and sisters who were inundated by natural calamities near the end of the year. come to think of it, i heard in the news yesterday that a large area in both makita and pasay city burned to the ground yesterday; that means, people living there had to celebrate their Christmas in the streets because they have nowhere to go to and they have no money. this is a terrible time for them and i cannot be sad for them. on the other hand, burning to the ground an area occupied by informal settlers could give the government an opportunity to rebuild that area that gives those who live there a more "dignified" (can't find the best word, sorry) place to live in. just my two cents. well, back to my misa de gallo story.
so there we were, sitting outside the cathedral, listening to the priest. the homily teaches us about appreciation and expression of our gratefulness to the good things that are shown to us. we should never forget to say Thank You and I Love You.
but mind you, the choir was so horrible (or was it just the acoustics?). i can't help but notice the grating noise they make sometimes (especially the high pitched one) and they make me wince sometimes. the choir loft was wasted on them. i can't help but wonder also if the organ they were using was the same one that we used whenever we have our Friday mass in my grade school years. if that's true, the organ is older than me by give or take ten years? amazing!
and while i am writing this, all i can think of is being grateful to be able to attend this last misa de gallo with my parents. thank you God and happy birthday, Jesus!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
new moon
new moon by stephenie meyer
if there was one reason why i'd be watching new moon, it would be because i would like to see the wolf. in the trailers, he actually seems good-looking and cool. last night, i got the chance to watch the movie with my sister and yes, jacob black is so hot and so cool! i say this, based only in the movie, because i have never read the books yet. i don't know how his character in the books really is. lea said he is not that cool because he was really obsessive about the female lead. well anyway, i do not wish to discuss his character as i only know little and it's only based in the movie. what i can say is that it showed that he loved bella and he'd do anything to protect her and keep her safe regardless of his own safety. who wouldn't wish for a guy like that, right?
as the movie progressed, i just can't help but laugh though, about most of the girls' reaction towards jacob's great body or edward's "good" looks. it was kind of weird to hear college girls cry out like that, like they were still in high school, or as if they're just going to die at that spot because of those two guys. as for me, okay, i really did appreciate jacob's overall physical attributes and i like his character there so if they'd ask me for a vote, he'd get mine hands down! hahaha! :) i hope i could see him in more movies soon.
just another thought, though. how come Black is the most favored name for a canine in the movies? think jacob black and sirius black.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
crying over you won't fix whatever it is that's going wrong between us. i just need to write this down for now so i can get it off my chest and hopefully help myself move on. yoiu know i hate fighting in whatever form it is and i can't help but think dark thoughts. that is not what or how i want myself to be. i want to be happy but being away from you like this now isn't making me happy.
why do you ignore me? how do you go on ignoring me? you once said why do i think this way, we were supposed to be happy. but how are we supposed to be happy when you ignore me and when you do deign to talk to me, that is only to say that you are sorry because you have been a rebel and had been seeing someone else and that for a while, you have forgotten about me. was that what you mean by happy? maybe we do have a different idea of what being happy means. how can you ask me on why i do think that way, that you are ignoring me. aren't you, aren't you?
over the years, i have been telling myself to stop hanging on to you but i'm weak. i haven't done it and i'm crawling my way through it. you make me sad. you make me cry. you make me long for something better but all i see about better times is still with you. i can't help it and i hate it. you make me hope but i know it's hopeless. you don't want to be happy with me, you don't make that effort with me. i'm sorry. i'm sorry, too.
why do you ignore me? how do you go on ignoring me? you once said why do i think this way, we were supposed to be happy. but how are we supposed to be happy when you ignore me and when you do deign to talk to me, that is only to say that you are sorry because you have been a rebel and had been seeing someone else and that for a while, you have forgotten about me. was that what you mean by happy? maybe we do have a different idea of what being happy means. how can you ask me on why i do think that way, that you are ignoring me. aren't you, aren't you?
over the years, i have been telling myself to stop hanging on to you but i'm weak. i haven't done it and i'm crawling my way through it. you make me sad. you make me cry. you make me long for something better but all i see about better times is still with you. i can't help it and i hate it. you make me hope but i know it's hopeless. you don't want to be happy with me, you don't make that effort with me. i'm sorry. i'm sorry, too.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
pahabol
tang-ina mo, pare! ayaw kong maghabol pero baliw ako sa iyo at ginagawa mo akong tanga! ginawa mo akong isang sirang plaka na tumutugtog pa rin ng paulit-ulit kahit sira na dahil sa gusto mo lang tumugtog ito. ganun naman tayo di ba? paulit-ulit na lang tayo sa ganito at walang pinanghahantungan. nakakapagod na pero bakit ganun? kahit pagod na ako, umaasa pa rin ako. ayaw na kitang habulin pero hindi... hindi ko mapigilan dahil mahal kita. gusto ko pa rin malaman kung may pag-asa pa nga ba tayo kahit na alam ko na iniiwasan mo na ako. hindi ba katangahan iyon? matalino naman ako, ah. nagmumukha lang akong tanga pagdating sa iyo. alam kong ayaw mo na sa akin pero bakit di ko mapigilang ipilit ang sarili ko sa iyo? tang-ina mo talaga, pare! puede bang diretsahin mo na ako? saktan mo na ako ng todo-todo para isahan na lang please. isang bagsakan na lang at pagkatapos noon ay wala na. mangyayari kaya iyon? sa palagay ko ay hindi pero libre ang mangarap. naisip ko lang, kung sinaktan mo ba ako ng todo-todo ay mapapalitan ang pag-ibig ko ng galit sa iyo, o hindi? sabi nga sa isang pelikulang napanood ko, hindi kita minahal ng sobra para pagtuunan pa kita ng galit (o pagkamuhi).
yun lang. grabe pare, ang sakit ha! nakakabwisit ka na....
yun lang. grabe pare, ang sakit ha! nakakabwisit ka na....
a missed call ruined it all
it had been months since i've felt this way. it was a long journey for me to accept that he is no longer with me. at times, i still have hope that there'd be a way for us to be together but lately, i have come to accept that maybe there isn't any. i was able to cut the times that i think of him, or looking over his picture, or find out what's going on with him thru his myspace.
but yesterday's anonymous call changed that.
it had almost been a year since he last called. he is not the only one who could have called me from outside but i would have known if some friends had been calling because i know, they'd let me know once i missed their call. but this one was different. nobody told me they were calling so i am assuming that it was him and no one else. it took me hours before i got the guts to ask him about the call but he never gave any indications that he did. so i realized (again!) that he wants nothing to do with me anymore.
that hurts.
and i feel so pathetic because i thought i was able to let go and now i realize that i haven't yet -- not totally. now i wonder how one really gets over things like this. you fall in love, get your heart broken, then love again. how does one accept the pain? how does one go on? i guess we can all go through life as it was before but it is never the same, never. little things can remind you of that person in the most unexpected ways. no wonder people become so bitter.
i want to let go though i don't know if i can in the way that i want it to be. i can never erase the conversations, laughters, and time spent with him in the past years, nor can i ever forget.
i just want to know. is he so drowned in his sorrows that he has forgotten the people he has made promises to? i am angry but i am sad for him, too. i know that i want him, that i pray for him but i guess, he doesn't know what he wants or how he should get it, and that is the sad part.
i am again depressed because... just because... because i let him in again in my heart and in my head. it was well past time that i forget him but that one anonymous call ruined everything. one missed call and i'm again a mess.
but yesterday's anonymous call changed that.
it had almost been a year since he last called. he is not the only one who could have called me from outside but i would have known if some friends had been calling because i know, they'd let me know once i missed their call. but this one was different. nobody told me they were calling so i am assuming that it was him and no one else. it took me hours before i got the guts to ask him about the call but he never gave any indications that he did. so i realized (again!) that he wants nothing to do with me anymore.
that hurts.
and i feel so pathetic because i thought i was able to let go and now i realize that i haven't yet -- not totally. now i wonder how one really gets over things like this. you fall in love, get your heart broken, then love again. how does one accept the pain? how does one go on? i guess we can all go through life as it was before but it is never the same, never. little things can remind you of that person in the most unexpected ways. no wonder people become so bitter.
i want to let go though i don't know if i can in the way that i want it to be. i can never erase the conversations, laughters, and time spent with him in the past years, nor can i ever forget.
i just want to know. is he so drowned in his sorrows that he has forgotten the people he has made promises to? i am angry but i am sad for him, too. i know that i want him, that i pray for him but i guess, he doesn't know what he wants or how he should get it, and that is the sad part.
i am again depressed because... just because... because i let him in again in my heart and in my head. it was well past time that i forget him but that one anonymous call ruined everything. one missed call and i'm again a mess.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
morning session
this morning, i had to go to school to help a friend learn a software that he's been having a problem with. as we do not have complete data samples, we were just able to go through the surface. i just hope he got something out of the two hours we had at the lab. after that, i was able to talk him into treating me out to lunch where we were able to discuss office concerns. i was relieved to know that i am not the only one who feels that way about my boss. although it is bad to be happy about someone's misery, i am just glad that i have someone close share the same problem with me. yes, we both feel that our boss do not like us and it shows in how he treats us sometimes. what we decided was that, the only thing we could do to change it was to move out of the office permanently. hopefully, as we are just biding our time, we could do that soon. for our peace of mind.
watched hurt locker and (500) days of summer. they were both good!
LSS: "it's the lover, not the love, who broke your heart last night. it's the lover, not the dream, that didn't work out fine."
***
watched hurt locker and (500) days of summer. they were both good!
***
LSS: "it's the lover, not the love, who broke your heart last night. it's the lover, not the dream, that didn't work out fine."
Saturday, October 3, 2009
volunteerism
i promised myself that i'd volunteer. i'm glad i did. we finished packing 1,000 packs of relief goods in just under three hours. how is that for a productive afternoon? :)
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
ondoy provision
army food in stockondoy was raining hard last saturday and we were stuck at the laboratory. our labmate and friend was worried about us that he had to call and tell us that there were food and sleeping bags littered at the lab, just in case we had to stay the night. and oh! we have army food there, just look for it, he said. we found it but didn't have the need to eat it. yet it was nice that it was there in case we starve!
ondoy on monday
ondoy has almost left us but all aids are just coming in. relief goods were being asked and volunteers being sought. as an office person, i had an obligation to go to work. when i got there, there were only two of us in the department, plus the boss. all others in the department were affected by the rains and the flood. three of them lived in areas most affected by the flooding. one had to carry her baby in waist-deep floodwater one kilometer along to reach higher grounds where her other relatives live. they left everything in their house. my other elder had half his car flooded. the other one, we had no news. yet yesterday, his sms said they were okay.
other stories from our building circulated as well. one officemate below our floor is losing his van. it was carried away by the water. the three cars of one of our managers, who lived in this subdivision where the flood reached the second story level, is totally ruined. one of the aunts of another officemate died in the flood.
everyone has a sad story to tell.
but there was a funny story as well. one of my officemates went to the market to see that the bangus was cheap. apparently, the risen water level of the lake caused the fish to flow and easy to catch. there was no electricity to preserve the fish so he was able to buy 1o kilos for 20 php/kilo. talk about hunger!
then yesterday, one of my friends confirmed that their apartment, which was just a block away from us, was flooded. as she was the only adult in the house with her two kids, she had to do everything. she recalled that when she saw the water coming in, she was so panicked that she was able to lift their refrigerator all by herself! it was just adrenaline pumping through her system. according to her, it was only today that she had finished washing all their dirty wet clothes! but what amazed her more was that the barangay officials came in to see them for a while and when they returned, there was already a bag of relief goods for them. the children, who didn't have any idea how scary it was last saturday, were just too excited to receive their gifts and just wanted to eat everything at once. talk about the resilience of kids. i'm just glad that they weren't traumatized. thank God.
tonight, i am writing this so i could remember the pains and joys that ondoy has brought. i just wish that the filipino could keep the spirit of bayanihan going and to find relief and joy amongst the difficulty and pain ondoy has brought us.
other stories from our building circulated as well. one officemate below our floor is losing his van. it was carried away by the water. the three cars of one of our managers, who lived in this subdivision where the flood reached the second story level, is totally ruined. one of the aunts of another officemate died in the flood.
everyone has a sad story to tell.
but there was a funny story as well. one of my officemates went to the market to see that the bangus was cheap. apparently, the risen water level of the lake caused the fish to flow and easy to catch. there was no electricity to preserve the fish so he was able to buy 1o kilos for 20 php/kilo. talk about hunger!
then yesterday, one of my friends confirmed that their apartment, which was just a block away from us, was flooded. as she was the only adult in the house with her two kids, she had to do everything. she recalled that when she saw the water coming in, she was so panicked that she was able to lift their refrigerator all by herself! it was just adrenaline pumping through her system. according to her, it was only today that she had finished washing all their dirty wet clothes! but what amazed her more was that the barangay officials came in to see them for a while and when they returned, there was already a bag of relief goods for them. the children, who didn't have any idea how scary it was last saturday, were just too excited to receive their gifts and just wanted to eat everything at once. talk about the resilience of kids. i'm just glad that they weren't traumatized. thank God.
tonight, i am writing this so i could remember the pains and joys that ondoy has brought. i just wish that the filipino could keep the spirit of bayanihan going and to find relief and joy amongst the difficulty and pain ondoy has brought us.
ondoy
it's been a couple of days since the fury of ondoy has struck metro manila. for some, little had happened to them yet for many, it has brought destruction, fear, and even paranoia to such unreasonable depths.
"just don't tell if i'm dying coz i don't want to know... (playing in the background)"
as for me, saturday was supposedly a simple day that would start with a class in the morning, dentist appointment in the afternoon, and partying in the evening. the venue for the party was at school so along with my laptop, i have brought all the stuff needed for the party which were stored at my house. it was dark and raining when i left the house. little did i know that it would lead to anything so herculean in dimension, incomprehensible to my mind. how could just a simple, non-stop rain cause so much destruction. i would then later see the answer to that in the afternoon. enconsed in the four walls of the classroom, we didn't realize how much the rain had been pouring and how the sky turned darker nor how much the wind howled. little did we know.
after class at noon, we decided to stay for a while at school, hoping the rain would stop eventually. it did not and we had to cancel the party. reports were all coming in now; the rain might go on throughout the day and there were floods surroundign us. later, i got a message from my dentist cancelling my appointment. another call came through, this one coming from one of our older labmates, one who is like a brother to us. he said we need to stay put because it's not safe going outside with the heavy, heavy and not strong, rain. we have provisions at the lab in case we needed to stay overnight and sleeping bags, and 'oh! army food,' he said. i called my sister and she provided me with an update of what's happening in the outside world. people were now on their roofs, asking to be rescued. at first, it was astonishing even that a famous actress has gone up to her roof. it was a shock that fame cannot help you when fighting the elements. we realize that we are equal against a common enemy, which is nature. anyways, with all these things coming to us, E and i decided to look in on the net for updates. by late afternoon, we already have an idea of what was happening. we saw people walking in chest-deep waters, cars being carried by high velocity waters, people on the roofs, people crying over the telephones during interviews on tv. it was such a mess, and it was heartbreaking.
at first, i just wanted to go home to enjoy the cool winds brought by the rain, with a book in my hand and hot choco beside my bed. late in the afternoon, with the rain raging on and giving lots of things to worry about, i just really wanted to be home -- safe.
it was also kind of sad at first because i have been down lately. i felt that he didn't care for my welfare. he must have heard the news of what's happening but i have never received any messages from him. i felt down and it made me want to cry. never mind that i didn't have phone coverage for hours already. it was just heartbreaking. then i decided to call my sister to see how she was and to inform her i was okay. the sound of her voice on the phone, her gladness to know that i was okay, to know that she worried made my heart lighter. my spirit lifted, even just for a bit. i left her my number just in case anything comes up. yet, not even an hour has passed when E answered the phone and told me i have a male caller. who could it be? i was not expecting anyone to call me. i was deeply puzzled until i answered the call: hello? who's this? 'hey, it's your papa, dalaga! we were worried about you. we couldn't contact you for a long time. it's scary on tv. are you okay?' yes, i'm okay, i said and i was happy. i assured him that everything is fine and we said our goodbyes. then just a few minutes later, another call came through. it was for me again and it was my brother. he said he was worried because of what he saw on tv and he couldn't contact me for some time. like with my dad, i assured him i was safe at school and would be staying put. after all those calls, i felt loved. loved so much by my family. i guess, maybe, never mind about him. i have a family who loves me and that is more important. but how much nicer could it be for him to call me, to worry about me. sigh, never mind. until now, he hasn't called. that's the sad truth of that.
I FEEL LOVED. PERIOD. AND GRATEFUL.
E and I, and her husband, ended up staying the night at the lab. with nothing to do, i was able to sleep early. however we stationed our sleeping arrangement at the lab, and whatever the circumstance was, i surprisingly had a pleasant sleep. i'm grateful for that. waking up early in the morning, i decided to go straight to church. it was a pleasant way to start another day. one so much different from the day before. it was raining, yes, but it was not like it was the day before. i went home and i saw how abs-cbn had immediately set-up a fund raising campaign for all those affected by the flood. i am not much of a fan of kris but how she handled that campaign was amazing. kudos to her! she made competition look so good and all for the sake of charity. i am so much impressed. you could either hate her or love her. she's such a mean bully and i'm saying this in an impressed way. no insult meant, just admiration.
"i wanna feel... i want the sunburn just to know i'm alive..."
"just don't tell if i'm dying coz i don't want to know... (playing in the background)"
as for me, saturday was supposedly a simple day that would start with a class in the morning, dentist appointment in the afternoon, and partying in the evening. the venue for the party was at school so along with my laptop, i have brought all the stuff needed for the party which were stored at my house. it was dark and raining when i left the house. little did i know that it would lead to anything so herculean in dimension, incomprehensible to my mind. how could just a simple, non-stop rain cause so much destruction. i would then later see the answer to that in the afternoon. enconsed in the four walls of the classroom, we didn't realize how much the rain had been pouring and how the sky turned darker nor how much the wind howled. little did we know.
after class at noon, we decided to stay for a while at school, hoping the rain would stop eventually. it did not and we had to cancel the party. reports were all coming in now; the rain might go on throughout the day and there were floods surroundign us. later, i got a message from my dentist cancelling my appointment. another call came through, this one coming from one of our older labmates, one who is like a brother to us. he said we need to stay put because it's not safe going outside with the heavy, heavy and not strong, rain. we have provisions at the lab in case we needed to stay overnight and sleeping bags, and 'oh! army food,' he said. i called my sister and she provided me with an update of what's happening in the outside world. people were now on their roofs, asking to be rescued. at first, it was astonishing even that a famous actress has gone up to her roof. it was a shock that fame cannot help you when fighting the elements. we realize that we are equal against a common enemy, which is nature. anyways, with all these things coming to us, E and i decided to look in on the net for updates. by late afternoon, we already have an idea of what was happening. we saw people walking in chest-deep waters, cars being carried by high velocity waters, people on the roofs, people crying over the telephones during interviews on tv. it was such a mess, and it was heartbreaking.
at first, i just wanted to go home to enjoy the cool winds brought by the rain, with a book in my hand and hot choco beside my bed. late in the afternoon, with the rain raging on and giving lots of things to worry about, i just really wanted to be home -- safe.
it was also kind of sad at first because i have been down lately. i felt that he didn't care for my welfare. he must have heard the news of what's happening but i have never received any messages from him. i felt down and it made me want to cry. never mind that i didn't have phone coverage for hours already. it was just heartbreaking. then i decided to call my sister to see how she was and to inform her i was okay. the sound of her voice on the phone, her gladness to know that i was okay, to know that she worried made my heart lighter. my spirit lifted, even just for a bit. i left her my number just in case anything comes up. yet, not even an hour has passed when E answered the phone and told me i have a male caller. who could it be? i was not expecting anyone to call me. i was deeply puzzled until i answered the call: hello? who's this? 'hey, it's your papa, dalaga! we were worried about you. we couldn't contact you for a long time. it's scary on tv. are you okay?' yes, i'm okay, i said and i was happy. i assured him that everything is fine and we said our goodbyes. then just a few minutes later, another call came through. it was for me again and it was my brother. he said he was worried because of what he saw on tv and he couldn't contact me for some time. like with my dad, i assured him i was safe at school and would be staying put. after all those calls, i felt loved. loved so much by my family. i guess, maybe, never mind about him. i have a family who loves me and that is more important. but how much nicer could it be for him to call me, to worry about me. sigh, never mind. until now, he hasn't called. that's the sad truth of that.
I FEEL LOVED. PERIOD. AND GRATEFUL.
E and I, and her husband, ended up staying the night at the lab. with nothing to do, i was able to sleep early. however we stationed our sleeping arrangement at the lab, and whatever the circumstance was, i surprisingly had a pleasant sleep. i'm grateful for that. waking up early in the morning, i decided to go straight to church. it was a pleasant way to start another day. one so much different from the day before. it was raining, yes, but it was not like it was the day before. i went home and i saw how abs-cbn had immediately set-up a fund raising campaign for all those affected by the flood. i am not much of a fan of kris but how she handled that campaign was amazing. kudos to her! she made competition look so good and all for the sake of charity. i am so much impressed. you could either hate her or love her. she's such a mean bully and i'm saying this in an impressed way. no insult meant, just admiration.
"i wanna feel... i want the sunburn just to know i'm alive..."
Monday, September 21, 2009
i love my margarita!
so to end a very tiring day for us, C from her hospital duties and me from my lunch date with high school friends (and add a little bit of mindless window shopping), the two of us decided to try out the new mexican resto near our place.
we liked the food but we bow to the margarita!
this is C's:
and this is mine!
YUMMY! I'm Happy! We are Happy!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
old watch
excited to bring home my old watch with a newly replaced machine! four more weeks to go! :D
little things that make you happy
i was heartbroken a couple of weeks ago prior to our departure to bangkok. my timex watch stopped and when i asked the service center to replace the battery, i was told that the machine isn't working anymore. the watch had been with me for more than eight years now and i just couldn't just let go...
last sunday, because i'm stubborn, i went to another shop of timex to ask that the batteries be replaced. same thing, the machine isn't working, they said. i was so crestfallen when suddenly, the technician suggested that 'why not have the machine be replaced?' i immediately asked (with probably very excited, wide eyes) if it really can be done and they said yes, but they had to send the unit to their main office and it would take months to have the machine replaced. my goodness! i don't care how long i'd wait as long as i can still use it again. beats the crap out of buying a new one when replacing the machine costs just around a thousand. yehey! that's a happy moment, don't you think. truly, little things can make you happy!
last sunday, because i'm stubborn, i went to another shop of timex to ask that the batteries be replaced. same thing, the machine isn't working, they said. i was so crestfallen when suddenly, the technician suggested that 'why not have the machine be replaced?' i immediately asked (with probably very excited, wide eyes) if it really can be done and they said yes, but they had to send the unit to their main office and it would take months to have the machine replaced. my goodness! i don't care how long i'd wait as long as i can still use it again. beats the crap out of buying a new one when replacing the machine costs just around a thousand. yehey! that's a happy moment, don't you think. truly, little things can make you happy!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
unsaid words
i want to say 'i love you'
but i know you're not there to listen
and even if you are, i know you won't listen
you won't believe
i want to say 'i love you'
but i know it will fall on deaf ears
i know the wind will just carry the words
until nothing is left behind
not even a tiny whisper
that can carry it to your heart
i want to say 'i love you'
but i can't
i won't
but i know you're not there to listen
and even if you are, i know you won't listen
you won't believe
i want to say 'i love you'
but i know it will fall on deaf ears
i know the wind will just carry the words
until nothing is left behind
not even a tiny whisper
that can carry it to your heart
i want to say 'i love you'
but i can't
i won't
Sunday, August 30, 2009
happy thoughts
i am getting there. i may not totally forget but at least i am successful in curbing the compulsion more times than not. i have not sent him a message in months now. what a happy thought. i'm getting there! it is difficult, yes, but now i understand what it meant by drowning your sorrow in work. i just wish i won't end up knowing what it means to drown your sorrow in alcohol, though! hehehe!
:) like peter pan, think happy thoughts!!!!
:) like peter pan, think happy thoughts!!!!
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