wake up call

so i've been absent a lot from work today. i think it started when i had to attend all those weddings since april. since then, i'm almost always absent once a week, whether it's an emergency leave or a sick leave. really, it seems like i only go to work four times a week. then you include the holidays! *sigh* at times, especially those like crunch times, i feel lazy going to work even if i know i have a lot of responsibilities to handle, or that a lot of people are counting on me. I JUST NEED A BREAK.

and maybe, i just feel so sad, lonely and distracted. probably distracted most of the time...

and yet today was a wake-up call. i didn't go to work in the morning with the excuse that i wasn't able to wake up on time because my alarm didn't go off. the truth is it did, but i ignored it and fell asleep again. i woke up at 8am and i could've gone to work even when i'm late. the problem was just that i felt so lazy and sleepy i decided not to. after all, by ten a.m. i'll be considered absent.

however, i didn't waste my time lying around. i went in front of my laptop and went to work. luckily, i have all the materials with me. i even made a big leap on my workload! yes, this is soooo good! no distractions at home. and yet, i felt bad about not going to work in the morning.

then, the wake up call. i finally got to chat with drifter and when told about me having, probably a memo for excessive absences, i was told:

"i don't know you to be like that. what's wrong?"

what's wrong is that, I NEED A BREAK! a long refreshing break. and i need sleep. i just need for all my obligations to be finished and i'll be fine again.

there's nothing like a question like that to wake me up and ask myself the same question. *sigh*