i think i have come to a point where i think i am getting what i wished for and feeling unsure if it's what i really like. it's been a long time since we both had a long talk and this lull in communication, added to our separation, is taking its toll on me. true, i want to be with him but when he's not here, i think twice... and thrice...
i am at a lost. i am not sure how we will be together. i don't know how my family will take him, how my friends will take him. in the beginning, when he's with me, i am sure they'd like him. but lately, when i think of us together, i wonder what they'll say. i was not like this before. i know he is a good person, someone who is easily likeable, someone who can be trusted with one's self. yet i am unsure of us together. is it because i feel that he's shying away from me? is it because for a long time now, i feel he is keeping something from me? i know he is, but i never had felt this strongly before and i fear it might be too important, something that may change how we are. i'm scared but i trust in the Lord to make it right. i am just sad that i can't do anything about it. all i have to do is wait for what's coming, good or bad, hurting or not.
give me strength. why is it they say that in love, the only person who can heal you is the person who has hurt you?
it's crazy, all i can think about today is... will i be the right person for him? or is he the right person for me? crazy, crazy... i just want to stop thinking about it.
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