confused

i know i shouldn't have been happy when you told me what your myspace account is. now, i can easily track you down. with just one simple line and a simple click, i know what you've been up to... or not.

today, you say you are confused. but hey, who isn't? i guess i'm even more confused than you are. i don't know what you're thinking, i don't know where we're going or if we're even moving forward at all. i hate the feeling. you say you're confused, i say i hate the feeling of being confused more. a friend told me yesterday, it is hard to play mind games with your own mind. it would have been easy to be clueless of what you're up to but with the access i have to your site, i can't help but peek. and i can't help being more confused, and being more angry at me, at you. i guess it's true what they say: what you don't know won't hurt you. i just wished - and now it's too late - that i have never known where online should i look for you. it's the holiday season but total happiness is way out of my reach without you.

i'm beginning to dislike you, as much as i love you. don't, please don't make me feel this way. the only thing i've done to you is love you the only way i can, the only way i know how.

at mass yesterday, the priest asked, why do we endure pain and suffering? the answer is because we hope that after all that pain and suffering, there is a promise of joy. it galls me to think and hope about it but i hope that with you, there is a promise of joy.