changes

my mom once said that everybody has to go away because each person deserves to test their wings. it is part of growing up, and this leaving behind can be a test of friendships. this was after i lamented on knowing - even envying - my friends are leaving the country and leaving us, me behind.

changes are constant and one has to accept it as fact, and one has to go with it.

something has changed within me, something i can't explain...

today, as i walked with my dad through our subdivision, i saw the changes time has done to it. true, there are familiar faces but nothing is the same. yet, they still are the same. they were the same people i knew when i was a child. those were the same roads i walked when i went to school or chapel, or to my friends house. what changed was that there were more people living in our small subdivision, more houses, new concrete roads and of course, old friends that are near yet so far - so far because you both have grown apart - or old friends that have left the place, and even this world.

change.

i saw my classmates a couple of days ago. although only a few of us met, i had a great time with them catching up and hearing news of everybody else. some got married, some had kids. two are now pilots (one who just graduated), a doctor, a couple of nurses, and so many others. some even have left the country, including one of the friends that live closest to me. my bestfriend is now even on the verge of choosing her specialization in the field of medicine. she chose to practice back home and in a selfish part of me, i feel sad because i won't have her near me once i get back to the city where lived the last couple of years. i feel sad yet so happy for her because now, she is fulfilling her dream.

most friends in college have already left the country for better jobs and advanced schooling. one recently finished defending her thesis and some will follow in the coming months. one is to get married soon. one had a child. one got a new boyfriend she's thinking of getting married to, and one who is dear to me went back home to pursue her career.

so many changes.

i am now (or soon to be) godmother to a cute little girl, the child of my grade school friends. i saw the beautiful baby smile at me and i felt her hand's strong grip on my finger. looking at the child is so thrilling, it lifts something good within yourself. for a moment you wish that you had your own. i did wish it but as i'm a very cautious person, i didn't wish it hard. not now, anyway. there will, as i always believe, time for that. time when i find the right partner for one. at the moment, i will do what i think is right for me.

our house has changed, too. as i was cleaning the bathroom a few days ago, i reminisce about how the house looked like when i was a kid. the bathroom wasn't where it is located right now. when i was a kid, i had to stand on my toes just to be able to put my mouth at the basin when brushing my teeth. today, i realized i was (yet still am) very small, even when i have to bend a little to reach the basin. our balkon before is now part of the main house and forms one of the boundaries of our property. the once front open garden of my mom is a concrete floor for my brother's parking space. the back, which once housed my dad's woods, and a semi-cemetery for our dogs, is now a plot of beautiful, colorful flowers.

so many changes, yes. and more changes are still coming with the new year. this is my last blog for the year and i look back and see all the good things that had come to me this year and all the previous years.

i thank God for all the blessings for i know, in my heart and in my mind, that i am blessed.