in college, i had to take a 3-part math series that lasts for three semesters.
it was an experience because it was the first time i failed in math. in high school, i was in the math olympiad team for four consecutive years. though i don't claim to be the best, i thought i could hold my own in any math problems. my preparatory calculus classes in college, which included algebra and geometry, i passed with good marks. but lo and behold when i got into the series.
the first, i took it twice. that's equal to one year math.
the second, i took it only once but had to take a second final exam to make it.
the third, i took three times!
in average, i finished my series in three years. a year after my sister did.
yet, i have funny experiences with my math. the first one was with my 2nd series class. on the first day of my second take, i got a surprised. i was in the same teacher's 54 class! when she called out my name, she looked up and asked me,
"ms. b, would you like to change to another teacher?"
"no, ma'am. i'd rather it be you."
so, i had that teacher again. fortunately this time, i did good and passed. in our third long exam, i got a 96% and she said,
"wow, ms. b! you got one of the highest grades! i'm so happy for you!"
cool teacher, huh?! she's over 50 years old.
*****
as i said, my sister who is two years younger than me, finished the math series a year ahead of me. when she reported to my dad that she got an Uno grade for that last class in the series, my dad asked her to hand over the phone to me:
"dalaga, isn't that the subject you've been taking the last couple of sems?"
"yes, papa. i don't have it this sem but i'm on my third take next sem."
"ok, so this is what you're going to do. get all your sister's exam as examples, let her come to your class and let her take your exams! you look alike so your teacher wouldn't notice it!"
ha! isn't my dad just great? teaching me his ways when he was in college? but in his case, he was the one taking the exam for his brods. LOL
Monday, September 29, 2008
scaredy scared
why am i afraid of doing a lot of things today?
i want to join an advocacy but i don't want the demands it will post on me. i want to play sports but i don't want to exert any effort. i particularly think it's a waste of time to jog, for example. yet, i waste my time online after arriving home from the office - and at times, even forgetting to eat!
when i look back at my first trip overseas, i amaze myself how i can be so daring (and yet it wasn't so daring at all! i didn't go to a club, for example). imagine a twenty-three year old girl who had never been away from the country actually taking that nineteen-hour flight without any guide, and just a few measly directions to the school i'm supposed to go to. imagine a little girl, going alone and living alone in a different country for one full month, with no friends (okay, beck was there but i only met her twice!). i wasn't afraid to take on the eight (or was it twelve) hours of coach ride to scotland. all these, i've done and i've actually met new friends.
and yet, now, i am a little scared of going away, even for leisure travel. why is that? as i'm writing this, i get it. it's like a bulb lighting on. eureka, in fact! the main reason why i'm afraid is not actually the safety. it's something to do with money. i have a little for that, alright but i'm afraid of diminishing my savings. before, i get to spend someone else's money for the travel but now, i use my own and it scares the hell out of me. working hard and spending hard is not my idea of living the life. i work hard, i save and i spend when i can. travel then is in the 'can' area. one that has to be planned meticulously so that i'd get my money's worth. i envy others i know who've been around the world, to all those places i always wanted to go to. but i have to believe what the saying says: do not envy the paths others had taken because you don't know what their journey is all about. so i need to live my life my own way, as God guides it.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
believe in the faithfulness of the Lord!
this morning, as my sister lounged on my bed beside me reading the bible, i read my daily reflection. the message is to let the Lord guide us, even if we have little capacity for doing, to do His will. we are encouraged to ask: God, what is it that you want me to do?
--26 September 2008
i want to join an advocacy but i don't want the demands it will post on me. i want to play sports but i don't want to exert any effort. i particularly think it's a waste of time to jog, for example. yet, i waste my time online after arriving home from the office - and at times, even forgetting to eat!
when i look back at my first trip overseas, i amaze myself how i can be so daring (and yet it wasn't so daring at all! i didn't go to a club, for example). imagine a twenty-three year old girl who had never been away from the country actually taking that nineteen-hour flight without any guide, and just a few measly directions to the school i'm supposed to go to. imagine a little girl, going alone and living alone in a different country for one full month, with no friends (okay, beck was there but i only met her twice!). i wasn't afraid to take on the eight (or was it twelve) hours of coach ride to scotland. all these, i've done and i've actually met new friends.
and yet, now, i am a little scared of going away, even for leisure travel. why is that? as i'm writing this, i get it. it's like a bulb lighting on. eureka, in fact! the main reason why i'm afraid is not actually the safety. it's something to do with money. i have a little for that, alright but i'm afraid of diminishing my savings. before, i get to spend someone else's money for the travel but now, i use my own and it scares the hell out of me. working hard and spending hard is not my idea of living the life. i work hard, i save and i spend when i can. travel then is in the 'can' area. one that has to be planned meticulously so that i'd get my money's worth. i envy others i know who've been around the world, to all those places i always wanted to go to. but i have to believe what the saying says: do not envy the paths others had taken because you don't know what their journey is all about. so i need to live my life my own way, as God guides it.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
believe in the faithfulness of the Lord!
this morning, as my sister lounged on my bed beside me reading the bible, i read my daily reflection. the message is to let the Lord guide us, even if we have little capacity for doing, to do His will. we are encouraged to ask: God, what is it that you want me to do?
--26 September 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
this is it - part 2
so no matter how hard work was today, i stop and think of the call yesterday.
finally....!
it's scary really to have a chance like this, to have something you've waited and longed for a long time, to finally have a glimmer of hope for fulfillment. i know there's a chance that we may not end up together but i do want a chance to see how we are together. i want this for the two of us. i'm just hoping that i won't regret any of this, whether we end up together or not.
i read something somewhere before and it made me think about it twice. i guess it is true (to a certain limit). it said: the only person who could heal you is that same person who broke your heart. okay, just thinking. right now, i'm not hurting but at times when i feel lonely, i think about it. it's like the txt messages or phone calls. i get hurt when he doesn't txt or call and yet when he does, every pain goes away.
right now, he is moving a lot. even if he is at one place, he doesn't spend much time in a place where there is a signal or power supply for his phone. his work keeps him busy, especially now that his itinerary is set for the next coming months. i understand this because it happens to me too sometimes, and yet i can't help wanting to hear from him anytime, everytime i want.
i am crazy in love with the guy. i just hope he feels the same. i know he feels the same way.
you know the feeling of knowing how a person feels when they send you a message? when reading it, you hear their voices. with him, i always feel loved. when he's sorry, i feel that he is sorry. and yes, sometimes, i feel that he is not telling the whole truth. when this happens, i let it be because i know, when he's ready, he tells. after all these years, i realize that with the little time we have for chats and calls, he doesn't tell me things he thinks are not important. but as people may know, i get curious and i ask. lucky for me, he answers all my questions. i love this about him. i write about him and i think it's crazy. please let it be. i can't help it.
i am happy. when i was overly crazy with kiwi a couple of years ago, i told everyone i know that he will become my boyfriend before the end of the year. i felt strongly about it. i guess it would have happened if we were not so far away and if he was not a little squeamish about having a long distance relationship. i once read too, an article that states that one reason why online relationship doesn't work is when one or both partners get bored about the set-up. i guess that was what happened with kiwi. i got bored. he probably did, too.
yet drifter was a constant for me. not always there and yet, he's always there. know what i mean? before i met kiwi, he was already a figure in my life. after kiwi, it was still him that is there. maybe the heavens is telling me something i shouldn't ignore. i just wish that if it happens that God will allow us to be together, i will be enough for him. i hope that there will be no regrets on both our parts. i will take him to church for that future blessing.
i miss him every hour of everyday. and i think of that day when i'll be writing on this blog about us - the together us.
i felt strongly about kiwi before and today, i feel strongly about drifter (and more often). if all goes well, i might even be married end of the year next year! what the heck?! where did that come from?! LOL oh well... cannot not think about that really.
on my next blog, i will have to tell what my pretty friend moonbeam had to say about the situation. it's cool because it's a view of a pragmatic, said without the rose-colored glasses. till then!
finally....!
it's scary really to have a chance like this, to have something you've waited and longed for a long time, to finally have a glimmer of hope for fulfillment. i know there's a chance that we may not end up together but i do want a chance to see how we are together. i want this for the two of us. i'm just hoping that i won't regret any of this, whether we end up together or not.
i read something somewhere before and it made me think about it twice. i guess it is true (to a certain limit). it said: the only person who could heal you is that same person who broke your heart. okay, just thinking. right now, i'm not hurting but at times when i feel lonely, i think about it. it's like the txt messages or phone calls. i get hurt when he doesn't txt or call and yet when he does, every pain goes away.
right now, he is moving a lot. even if he is at one place, he doesn't spend much time in a place where there is a signal or power supply for his phone. his work keeps him busy, especially now that his itinerary is set for the next coming months. i understand this because it happens to me too sometimes, and yet i can't help wanting to hear from him anytime, everytime i want.
i am crazy in love with the guy. i just hope he feels the same. i know he feels the same way.
you know the feeling of knowing how a person feels when they send you a message? when reading it, you hear their voices. with him, i always feel loved. when he's sorry, i feel that he is sorry. and yes, sometimes, i feel that he is not telling the whole truth. when this happens, i let it be because i know, when he's ready, he tells. after all these years, i realize that with the little time we have for chats and calls, he doesn't tell me things he thinks are not important. but as people may know, i get curious and i ask. lucky for me, he answers all my questions. i love this about him. i write about him and i think it's crazy. please let it be. i can't help it.
i am happy. when i was overly crazy with kiwi a couple of years ago, i told everyone i know that he will become my boyfriend before the end of the year. i felt strongly about it. i guess it would have happened if we were not so far away and if he was not a little squeamish about having a long distance relationship. i once read too, an article that states that one reason why online relationship doesn't work is when one or both partners get bored about the set-up. i guess that was what happened with kiwi. i got bored. he probably did, too.
yet drifter was a constant for me. not always there and yet, he's always there. know what i mean? before i met kiwi, he was already a figure in my life. after kiwi, it was still him that is there. maybe the heavens is telling me something i shouldn't ignore. i just wish that if it happens that God will allow us to be together, i will be enough for him. i hope that there will be no regrets on both our parts. i will take him to church for that future blessing.
i miss him every hour of everyday. and i think of that day when i'll be writing on this blog about us - the together us.
i felt strongly about kiwi before and today, i feel strongly about drifter (and more often). if all goes well, i might even be married end of the year next year! what the heck?! where did that come from?! LOL oh well... cannot not think about that really.
on my next blog, i will have to tell what my pretty friend moonbeam had to say about the situation. it's cool because it's a view of a pragmatic, said without the rose-colored glasses. till then!
Monday, September 22, 2008
this is it
this morning, drifter texted me after more than a month. since i can't help it, i replied. i was happy to hear from him. i missed him. yet i told him i was mad at him the last couple of weeks because he went awol on me. i didn't know where he was, what he's doing. for all i know, he got in the army earlier and at the moment fighting in iraq; or he got into another accident. maybe i made him feel guilty by saying that that he asked if he could call. i was at the office after all. i didn't want him to but it was the only time we had as he was on field most of the time, so i told him to call.
that phone call now changes everything - i think. i know why he was gone a long time without any contact with me. i am guilty of that, too. when one is on the field, one can lose phone signals, or lose battery charges, and if one is busy taking care of other people, one cannot expect for that person to drop everything else for you. he is now in constant move and one cannot know when he's going to get the chance to be on the phone or on the internet. it's enough that he keeps me on his mind.
yet, there is one thing that made me speechless from our conversation --
he had now filed for divorce, this end of july.
i don't know what will happen then but for now, we will both keep it easy. it's scary because the chance for us to be together comes nearer and nearer. yet, could it be really for real? how will i introduce him to my parents, family and friends?
as we were having our conversation at the washroom, i realized someone was also there, overhearing our talk. unfortunately, it was an officemate i'm close to. anyways, when she left, i told drifter about that and that i wasn't sure how she'd take it coz my friend doesn't know about him. in fact, not many of my friends know about you, i said. i don't want them to know about you. he replied, 'why not?' i hope he wasn't insulted but my only answer was that, i couldn't tell them about him because he is not totally free. when i tell them, i want to know that he is fully mine, and not partially owned by someone else. i told him that i want to let the whole world know that he's mine but it's just not the right time. he is not fully mine. i know he understood that, and i'm grateful.
so what will happen now? surely i want the chance to know how we are together. will we be happy? will we be a piece, a half of each other? will we make each other whole? will we have great times ahead? will we get through all the troubles that will come our way? will we? so many questions and yet not the right time for the right answers.
i'm way over my head now. i'm scared yet i kind of look forward to seeing him. soon. it's gonna be soon. if God wills it, we will.
that phone call now changes everything - i think. i know why he was gone a long time without any contact with me. i am guilty of that, too. when one is on the field, one can lose phone signals, or lose battery charges, and if one is busy taking care of other people, one cannot expect for that person to drop everything else for you. he is now in constant move and one cannot know when he's going to get the chance to be on the phone or on the internet. it's enough that he keeps me on his mind.
yet, there is one thing that made me speechless from our conversation --
he had now filed for divorce, this end of july.
i don't know what will happen then but for now, we will both keep it easy. it's scary because the chance for us to be together comes nearer and nearer. yet, could it be really for real? how will i introduce him to my parents, family and friends?
as we were having our conversation at the washroom, i realized someone was also there, overhearing our talk. unfortunately, it was an officemate i'm close to. anyways, when she left, i told drifter about that and that i wasn't sure how she'd take it coz my friend doesn't know about him. in fact, not many of my friends know about you, i said. i don't want them to know about you. he replied, 'why not?' i hope he wasn't insulted but my only answer was that, i couldn't tell them about him because he is not totally free. when i tell them, i want to know that he is fully mine, and not partially owned by someone else. i told him that i want to let the whole world know that he's mine but it's just not the right time. he is not fully mine. i know he understood that, and i'm grateful.
so what will happen now? surely i want the chance to know how we are together. will we be happy? will we be a piece, a half of each other? will we make each other whole? will we have great times ahead? will we get through all the troubles that will come our way? will we? so many questions and yet not the right time for the right answers.
i'm way over my head now. i'm scared yet i kind of look forward to seeing him. soon. it's gonna be soon. if God wills it, we will.
Friday, September 19, 2008
wish i could go back
a text message from strat --
as i grow old,
my realizations about life
become deeper
problems get bigger
situations become more
complicated
sometimes i wish i could go back
back to the time
when the only man in my life
was my dad
my only bestfriend was my mom
and any pain could be healed
by just a band-aid and
a lollipop....
as i grow old,
my realizations about life
become deeper
problems get bigger
situations become more
complicated
sometimes i wish i could go back
back to the time
when the only man in my life
was my dad
my only bestfriend was my mom
and any pain could be healed
by just a band-aid and
a lollipop....
Thursday, September 18, 2008
changing times
my freshman year in university, the local public transportation cost 2.25PhP. today, it's 7.00PhP
return airfare to home was around 8,000PhP to 12,000PhP. today, you can get it at around 6,000PhP to 8,000PhP. flying time was one hour and a half. today, it's cut into half.
when i was a kid, there was only one airline. today, there are many with three flying to my hometown.
lrt used to have tokens for entry. today, we swipe a card.
when i was in grade school, the book said that a peso can buy six pan de sal during marcos' time. at that time, a pan de sal cost us a peso. today, one costs around 3PhP to 5PhP.
we used to play patintero under the light of the moon. now i wonder if kids still know how to play it, much less play it under the moon.
we used to be able to meet without a cellphone. one word was enough. today, we need the phones when we go out and meet the same people.
life was simple back then. times are changing and we adapt. i've grown and i've adapt. life is easier, yet it has become more complex. we wish for the good old times but are we willing to give up what we have now?
my family, when we still lived together, used to play scrabble and word factory on the floor at the living room to pass the time. now i wonder if families still do that when everyone are engaged with their phones and internet all the time.
yes, times are changing and i don't know if i want to have it any other way. yet i long for the simple life, back when i was a kid.
return airfare to home was around 8,000PhP to 12,000PhP. today, you can get it at around 6,000PhP to 8,000PhP. flying time was one hour and a half. today, it's cut into half.
when i was a kid, there was only one airline. today, there are many with three flying to my hometown.
lrt used to have tokens for entry. today, we swipe a card.
when i was in grade school, the book said that a peso can buy six pan de sal during marcos' time. at that time, a pan de sal cost us a peso. today, one costs around 3PhP to 5PhP.
we used to play patintero under the light of the moon. now i wonder if kids still know how to play it, much less play it under the moon.
we used to be able to meet without a cellphone. one word was enough. today, we need the phones when we go out and meet the same people.
life was simple back then. times are changing and we adapt. i've grown and i've adapt. life is easier, yet it has become more complex. we wish for the good old times but are we willing to give up what we have now?
my family, when we still lived together, used to play scrabble and word factory on the floor at the living room to pass the time. now i wonder if families still do that when everyone are engaged with their phones and internet all the time.
yes, times are changing and i don't know if i want to have it any other way. yet i long for the simple life, back when i was a kid.
pensieve and blog
if dumbledore has his pensieve, i have this blog.
it works the same way, actually. the pensieve was used to keep the thoughts that heavy his mind. it is like a storage unit where his thoughts can be accessible any time he wished.
my blog is just another type of pensieve, in a muggle-sort of way....
wow, i'm in harry potter land! :D
it works the same way, actually. the pensieve was used to keep the thoughts that heavy his mind. it is like a storage unit where his thoughts can be accessible any time he wished.
my blog is just another type of pensieve, in a muggle-sort of way....
wow, i'm in harry potter land! :D
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