in college, i had to take a 3-part math series that lasts for three semesters.
it was an experience because it was the first time i failed in math. in high school, i was in the math olympiad team for four consecutive years. though i don't claim to be the best, i thought i could hold my own in any math problems. my preparatory calculus classes in college, which included algebra and geometry, i passed with good marks. but lo and behold when i got into the series.
the first, i took it twice. that's equal to one year math.
the second, i took it only once but had to take a second final exam to make it.
the third, i took three times!
in average, i finished my series in three years. a year after my sister did.
yet, i have funny experiences with my math. the first one was with my 2nd series class. on the first day of my second take, i got a surprised. i was in the same teacher's 54 class! when she called out my name, she looked up and asked me,
"ms. b, would you like to change to another teacher?"
"no, ma'am. i'd rather it be you."
so, i had that teacher again. fortunately this time, i did good and passed. in our third long exam, i got a 96% and she said,
"wow, ms. b! you got one of the highest grades! i'm so happy for you!"
cool teacher, huh?! she's over 50 years old.
*****
as i said, my sister who is two years younger than me, finished the math series a year ahead of me. when she reported to my dad that she got an Uno grade for that last class in the series, my dad asked her to hand over the phone to me:
"dalaga, isn't that the subject you've been taking the last couple of sems?"
"yes, papa. i don't have it this sem but i'm on my third take next sem."
"ok, so this is what you're going to do. get all your sister's exam as examples, let her come to your class and let her take your exams! you look alike so your teacher wouldn't notice it!"
ha! isn't my dad just great? teaching me his ways when he was in college? but in his case, he was the one taking the exam for his brods. LOL
Monday, September 29, 2008
scaredy scared
why am i afraid of doing a lot of things today?
i want to join an advocacy but i don't want the demands it will post on me. i want to play sports but i don't want to exert any effort. i particularly think it's a waste of time to jog, for example. yet, i waste my time online after arriving home from the office - and at times, even forgetting to eat!
when i look back at my first trip overseas, i amaze myself how i can be so daring (and yet it wasn't so daring at all! i didn't go to a club, for example). imagine a twenty-three year old girl who had never been away from the country actually taking that nineteen-hour flight without any guide, and just a few measly directions to the school i'm supposed to go to. imagine a little girl, going alone and living alone in a different country for one full month, with no friends (okay, beck was there but i only met her twice!). i wasn't afraid to take on the eight (or was it twelve) hours of coach ride to scotland. all these, i've done and i've actually met new friends.
and yet, now, i am a little scared of going away, even for leisure travel. why is that? as i'm writing this, i get it. it's like a bulb lighting on. eureka, in fact! the main reason why i'm afraid is not actually the safety. it's something to do with money. i have a little for that, alright but i'm afraid of diminishing my savings. before, i get to spend someone else's money for the travel but now, i use my own and it scares the hell out of me. working hard and spending hard is not my idea of living the life. i work hard, i save and i spend when i can. travel then is in the 'can' area. one that has to be planned meticulously so that i'd get my money's worth. i envy others i know who've been around the world, to all those places i always wanted to go to. but i have to believe what the saying says: do not envy the paths others had taken because you don't know what their journey is all about. so i need to live my life my own way, as God guides it.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
believe in the faithfulness of the Lord!
this morning, as my sister lounged on my bed beside me reading the bible, i read my daily reflection. the message is to let the Lord guide us, even if we have little capacity for doing, to do His will. we are encouraged to ask: God, what is it that you want me to do?
--26 September 2008
i want to join an advocacy but i don't want the demands it will post on me. i want to play sports but i don't want to exert any effort. i particularly think it's a waste of time to jog, for example. yet, i waste my time online after arriving home from the office - and at times, even forgetting to eat!
when i look back at my first trip overseas, i amaze myself how i can be so daring (and yet it wasn't so daring at all! i didn't go to a club, for example). imagine a twenty-three year old girl who had never been away from the country actually taking that nineteen-hour flight without any guide, and just a few measly directions to the school i'm supposed to go to. imagine a little girl, going alone and living alone in a different country for one full month, with no friends (okay, beck was there but i only met her twice!). i wasn't afraid to take on the eight (or was it twelve) hours of coach ride to scotland. all these, i've done and i've actually met new friends.
and yet, now, i am a little scared of going away, even for leisure travel. why is that? as i'm writing this, i get it. it's like a bulb lighting on. eureka, in fact! the main reason why i'm afraid is not actually the safety. it's something to do with money. i have a little for that, alright but i'm afraid of diminishing my savings. before, i get to spend someone else's money for the travel but now, i use my own and it scares the hell out of me. working hard and spending hard is not my idea of living the life. i work hard, i save and i spend when i can. travel then is in the 'can' area. one that has to be planned meticulously so that i'd get my money's worth. i envy others i know who've been around the world, to all those places i always wanted to go to. but i have to believe what the saying says: do not envy the paths others had taken because you don't know what their journey is all about. so i need to live my life my own way, as God guides it.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
believe in the faithfulness of the Lord!
this morning, as my sister lounged on my bed beside me reading the bible, i read my daily reflection. the message is to let the Lord guide us, even if we have little capacity for doing, to do His will. we are encouraged to ask: God, what is it that you want me to do?
--26 September 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
this is it - part 2
so no matter how hard work was today, i stop and think of the call yesterday.
finally....!
it's scary really to have a chance like this, to have something you've waited and longed for a long time, to finally have a glimmer of hope for fulfillment. i know there's a chance that we may not end up together but i do want a chance to see how we are together. i want this for the two of us. i'm just hoping that i won't regret any of this, whether we end up together or not.
i read something somewhere before and it made me think about it twice. i guess it is true (to a certain limit). it said: the only person who could heal you is that same person who broke your heart. okay, just thinking. right now, i'm not hurting but at times when i feel lonely, i think about it. it's like the txt messages or phone calls. i get hurt when he doesn't txt or call and yet when he does, every pain goes away.
right now, he is moving a lot. even if he is at one place, he doesn't spend much time in a place where there is a signal or power supply for his phone. his work keeps him busy, especially now that his itinerary is set for the next coming months. i understand this because it happens to me too sometimes, and yet i can't help wanting to hear from him anytime, everytime i want.
i am crazy in love with the guy. i just hope he feels the same. i know he feels the same way.
you know the feeling of knowing how a person feels when they send you a message? when reading it, you hear their voices. with him, i always feel loved. when he's sorry, i feel that he is sorry. and yes, sometimes, i feel that he is not telling the whole truth. when this happens, i let it be because i know, when he's ready, he tells. after all these years, i realize that with the little time we have for chats and calls, he doesn't tell me things he thinks are not important. but as people may know, i get curious and i ask. lucky for me, he answers all my questions. i love this about him. i write about him and i think it's crazy. please let it be. i can't help it.
i am happy. when i was overly crazy with kiwi a couple of years ago, i told everyone i know that he will become my boyfriend before the end of the year. i felt strongly about it. i guess it would have happened if we were not so far away and if he was not a little squeamish about having a long distance relationship. i once read too, an article that states that one reason why online relationship doesn't work is when one or both partners get bored about the set-up. i guess that was what happened with kiwi. i got bored. he probably did, too.
yet drifter was a constant for me. not always there and yet, he's always there. know what i mean? before i met kiwi, he was already a figure in my life. after kiwi, it was still him that is there. maybe the heavens is telling me something i shouldn't ignore. i just wish that if it happens that God will allow us to be together, i will be enough for him. i hope that there will be no regrets on both our parts. i will take him to church for that future blessing.
i miss him every hour of everyday. and i think of that day when i'll be writing on this blog about us - the together us.
i felt strongly about kiwi before and today, i feel strongly about drifter (and more often). if all goes well, i might even be married end of the year next year! what the heck?! where did that come from?! LOL oh well... cannot not think about that really.
on my next blog, i will have to tell what my pretty friend moonbeam had to say about the situation. it's cool because it's a view of a pragmatic, said without the rose-colored glasses. till then!
finally....!
it's scary really to have a chance like this, to have something you've waited and longed for a long time, to finally have a glimmer of hope for fulfillment. i know there's a chance that we may not end up together but i do want a chance to see how we are together. i want this for the two of us. i'm just hoping that i won't regret any of this, whether we end up together or not.
i read something somewhere before and it made me think about it twice. i guess it is true (to a certain limit). it said: the only person who could heal you is that same person who broke your heart. okay, just thinking. right now, i'm not hurting but at times when i feel lonely, i think about it. it's like the txt messages or phone calls. i get hurt when he doesn't txt or call and yet when he does, every pain goes away.
right now, he is moving a lot. even if he is at one place, he doesn't spend much time in a place where there is a signal or power supply for his phone. his work keeps him busy, especially now that his itinerary is set for the next coming months. i understand this because it happens to me too sometimes, and yet i can't help wanting to hear from him anytime, everytime i want.
i am crazy in love with the guy. i just hope he feels the same. i know he feels the same way.
you know the feeling of knowing how a person feels when they send you a message? when reading it, you hear their voices. with him, i always feel loved. when he's sorry, i feel that he is sorry. and yes, sometimes, i feel that he is not telling the whole truth. when this happens, i let it be because i know, when he's ready, he tells. after all these years, i realize that with the little time we have for chats and calls, he doesn't tell me things he thinks are not important. but as people may know, i get curious and i ask. lucky for me, he answers all my questions. i love this about him. i write about him and i think it's crazy. please let it be. i can't help it.
i am happy. when i was overly crazy with kiwi a couple of years ago, i told everyone i know that he will become my boyfriend before the end of the year. i felt strongly about it. i guess it would have happened if we were not so far away and if he was not a little squeamish about having a long distance relationship. i once read too, an article that states that one reason why online relationship doesn't work is when one or both partners get bored about the set-up. i guess that was what happened with kiwi. i got bored. he probably did, too.
yet drifter was a constant for me. not always there and yet, he's always there. know what i mean? before i met kiwi, he was already a figure in my life. after kiwi, it was still him that is there. maybe the heavens is telling me something i shouldn't ignore. i just wish that if it happens that God will allow us to be together, i will be enough for him. i hope that there will be no regrets on both our parts. i will take him to church for that future blessing.
i miss him every hour of everyday. and i think of that day when i'll be writing on this blog about us - the together us.
i felt strongly about kiwi before and today, i feel strongly about drifter (and more often). if all goes well, i might even be married end of the year next year! what the heck?! where did that come from?! LOL oh well... cannot not think about that really.
on my next blog, i will have to tell what my pretty friend moonbeam had to say about the situation. it's cool because it's a view of a pragmatic, said without the rose-colored glasses. till then!
Monday, September 22, 2008
this is it
this morning, drifter texted me after more than a month. since i can't help it, i replied. i was happy to hear from him. i missed him. yet i told him i was mad at him the last couple of weeks because he went awol on me. i didn't know where he was, what he's doing. for all i know, he got in the army earlier and at the moment fighting in iraq; or he got into another accident. maybe i made him feel guilty by saying that that he asked if he could call. i was at the office after all. i didn't want him to but it was the only time we had as he was on field most of the time, so i told him to call.
that phone call now changes everything - i think. i know why he was gone a long time without any contact with me. i am guilty of that, too. when one is on the field, one can lose phone signals, or lose battery charges, and if one is busy taking care of other people, one cannot expect for that person to drop everything else for you. he is now in constant move and one cannot know when he's going to get the chance to be on the phone or on the internet. it's enough that he keeps me on his mind.
yet, there is one thing that made me speechless from our conversation --
he had now filed for divorce, this end of july.
i don't know what will happen then but for now, we will both keep it easy. it's scary because the chance for us to be together comes nearer and nearer. yet, could it be really for real? how will i introduce him to my parents, family and friends?
as we were having our conversation at the washroom, i realized someone was also there, overhearing our talk. unfortunately, it was an officemate i'm close to. anyways, when she left, i told drifter about that and that i wasn't sure how she'd take it coz my friend doesn't know about him. in fact, not many of my friends know about you, i said. i don't want them to know about you. he replied, 'why not?' i hope he wasn't insulted but my only answer was that, i couldn't tell them about him because he is not totally free. when i tell them, i want to know that he is fully mine, and not partially owned by someone else. i told him that i want to let the whole world know that he's mine but it's just not the right time. he is not fully mine. i know he understood that, and i'm grateful.
so what will happen now? surely i want the chance to know how we are together. will we be happy? will we be a piece, a half of each other? will we make each other whole? will we have great times ahead? will we get through all the troubles that will come our way? will we? so many questions and yet not the right time for the right answers.
i'm way over my head now. i'm scared yet i kind of look forward to seeing him. soon. it's gonna be soon. if God wills it, we will.
that phone call now changes everything - i think. i know why he was gone a long time without any contact with me. i am guilty of that, too. when one is on the field, one can lose phone signals, or lose battery charges, and if one is busy taking care of other people, one cannot expect for that person to drop everything else for you. he is now in constant move and one cannot know when he's going to get the chance to be on the phone or on the internet. it's enough that he keeps me on his mind.
yet, there is one thing that made me speechless from our conversation --
he had now filed for divorce, this end of july.
i don't know what will happen then but for now, we will both keep it easy. it's scary because the chance for us to be together comes nearer and nearer. yet, could it be really for real? how will i introduce him to my parents, family and friends?
as we were having our conversation at the washroom, i realized someone was also there, overhearing our talk. unfortunately, it was an officemate i'm close to. anyways, when she left, i told drifter about that and that i wasn't sure how she'd take it coz my friend doesn't know about him. in fact, not many of my friends know about you, i said. i don't want them to know about you. he replied, 'why not?' i hope he wasn't insulted but my only answer was that, i couldn't tell them about him because he is not totally free. when i tell them, i want to know that he is fully mine, and not partially owned by someone else. i told him that i want to let the whole world know that he's mine but it's just not the right time. he is not fully mine. i know he understood that, and i'm grateful.
so what will happen now? surely i want the chance to know how we are together. will we be happy? will we be a piece, a half of each other? will we make each other whole? will we have great times ahead? will we get through all the troubles that will come our way? will we? so many questions and yet not the right time for the right answers.
i'm way over my head now. i'm scared yet i kind of look forward to seeing him. soon. it's gonna be soon. if God wills it, we will.
Friday, September 19, 2008
wish i could go back
a text message from strat --
as i grow old,
my realizations about life
become deeper
problems get bigger
situations become more
complicated
sometimes i wish i could go back
back to the time
when the only man in my life
was my dad
my only bestfriend was my mom
and any pain could be healed
by just a band-aid and
a lollipop....
as i grow old,
my realizations about life
become deeper
problems get bigger
situations become more
complicated
sometimes i wish i could go back
back to the time
when the only man in my life
was my dad
my only bestfriend was my mom
and any pain could be healed
by just a band-aid and
a lollipop....
Thursday, September 18, 2008
changing times
my freshman year in university, the local public transportation cost 2.25PhP. today, it's 7.00PhP
return airfare to home was around 8,000PhP to 12,000PhP. today, you can get it at around 6,000PhP to 8,000PhP. flying time was one hour and a half. today, it's cut into half.
when i was a kid, there was only one airline. today, there are many with three flying to my hometown.
lrt used to have tokens for entry. today, we swipe a card.
when i was in grade school, the book said that a peso can buy six pan de sal during marcos' time. at that time, a pan de sal cost us a peso. today, one costs around 3PhP to 5PhP.
we used to play patintero under the light of the moon. now i wonder if kids still know how to play it, much less play it under the moon.
we used to be able to meet without a cellphone. one word was enough. today, we need the phones when we go out and meet the same people.
life was simple back then. times are changing and we adapt. i've grown and i've adapt. life is easier, yet it has become more complex. we wish for the good old times but are we willing to give up what we have now?
my family, when we still lived together, used to play scrabble and word factory on the floor at the living room to pass the time. now i wonder if families still do that when everyone are engaged with their phones and internet all the time.
yes, times are changing and i don't know if i want to have it any other way. yet i long for the simple life, back when i was a kid.
return airfare to home was around 8,000PhP to 12,000PhP. today, you can get it at around 6,000PhP to 8,000PhP. flying time was one hour and a half. today, it's cut into half.
when i was a kid, there was only one airline. today, there are many with three flying to my hometown.
lrt used to have tokens for entry. today, we swipe a card.
when i was in grade school, the book said that a peso can buy six pan de sal during marcos' time. at that time, a pan de sal cost us a peso. today, one costs around 3PhP to 5PhP.
we used to play patintero under the light of the moon. now i wonder if kids still know how to play it, much less play it under the moon.
we used to be able to meet without a cellphone. one word was enough. today, we need the phones when we go out and meet the same people.
life was simple back then. times are changing and we adapt. i've grown and i've adapt. life is easier, yet it has become more complex. we wish for the good old times but are we willing to give up what we have now?
my family, when we still lived together, used to play scrabble and word factory on the floor at the living room to pass the time. now i wonder if families still do that when everyone are engaged with their phones and internet all the time.
yes, times are changing and i don't know if i want to have it any other way. yet i long for the simple life, back when i was a kid.
pensieve and blog
if dumbledore has his pensieve, i have this blog.
it works the same way, actually. the pensieve was used to keep the thoughts that heavy his mind. it is like a storage unit where his thoughts can be accessible any time he wished.
my blog is just another type of pensieve, in a muggle-sort of way....
wow, i'm in harry potter land! :D
it works the same way, actually. the pensieve was used to keep the thoughts that heavy his mind. it is like a storage unit where his thoughts can be accessible any time he wished.
my blog is just another type of pensieve, in a muggle-sort of way....
wow, i'm in harry potter land! :D
rediscovering vanna vanna
a song keeps on popping on my mind at certain moments. i know a little of its lyrics but i always forget to check what song is that. all i know is that i know this one from my grade school days, or was it high school?
as i sat quietly at the jeep today while the rain was pouring heavily, this song popped on my mind again and i begun to sing and hum with the music that's running 'round my mind.
tonight, i checked on the song -- finally. yes, it was a song from vanna vanna (foj before). i like this song and it's heartbreaking (or so)...
i found one version of it on youtube and an mp3 which i downloaded.
=============
Hurting Inside
There are moments
That I feel I just can't go on
Wishing that you were here
Oh how I wish You holding me close to you
Whispering those words I love you (I love you)
But baby you're not there
Like you were before
No words of love to hear
Can't smile anymore
Is it finally over
I can't wait any longer
Do you ever think of me
Coz baby can't you see
That I'm hurting inside
All the tears I can't hide
Life is never easy without you baby
I want you to know that
I'm hurting inside
The pain is deep inside (I can't mend it)
Wishing you would come to ease the pain
In my heart
Coz lovin' you just hurts deep inside
Empty moments
They just fill every part of me
Since you've been away from me
Give me a chance to say how much I care
Hold me close to you and let me through
But baby you're not there
Like you were before
No words of love to hear
Can't smile anymore
Is it finally over
I can't wait any longer
Do you ever think of me
Coz baby can't you see
That I'm hurting inside
All the tears I can't hide
Life is never easy without you baby
I want you to know that I'm hurting inside
The pain is deep inside I can't mend it
Wishing you would come to ease the pain
In my heart
Coz lovin' you just hurts deep inside
I want you to know that I'm hurting inside
The pain is deep inside (I can't mend it)
Wishing you would come to ease the pain
In my heart
Coz lovin' you just hurts deep inside
as i sat quietly at the jeep today while the rain was pouring heavily, this song popped on my mind again and i begun to sing and hum with the music that's running 'round my mind.
tonight, i checked on the song -- finally. yes, it was a song from vanna vanna (foj before). i like this song and it's heartbreaking (or so)...
i found one version of it on youtube and an mp3 which i downloaded.
=============
Hurting Inside
There are moments
That I feel I just can't go on
Wishing that you were here
Oh how I wish You holding me close to you
Whispering those words I love you (I love you)
But baby you're not there
Like you were before
No words of love to hear
Can't smile anymore
Is it finally over
I can't wait any longer
Do you ever think of me
Coz baby can't you see
That I'm hurting inside
All the tears I can't hide
Life is never easy without you baby
I want you to know that
I'm hurting inside
The pain is deep inside (I can't mend it)
Wishing you would come to ease the pain
In my heart
Coz lovin' you just hurts deep inside
Empty moments
They just fill every part of me
Since you've been away from me
Give me a chance to say how much I care
Hold me close to you and let me through
But baby you're not there
Like you were before
No words of love to hear
Can't smile anymore
Is it finally over
I can't wait any longer
Do you ever think of me
Coz baby can't you see
That I'm hurting inside
All the tears I can't hide
Life is never easy without you baby
I want you to know that I'm hurting inside
The pain is deep inside I can't mend it
Wishing you would come to ease the pain
In my heart
Coz lovin' you just hurts deep inside
I want you to know that I'm hurting inside
The pain is deep inside (I can't mend it)
Wishing you would come to ease the pain
In my heart
Coz lovin' you just hurts deep inside
Saturday, September 13, 2008
what is your passion
i have none.
that is one of the reasons why i am totally lost and sad sometimes. i have nothing to show for. i am not passionate about anything. not my work, not my studies, not my puzzles, not my scrapbooks, not my love for photographs. not even the exercises i try to do once a week. not even my bible reading!
how can i go on? how will i change things? others i know are passionate about their family, their sports, their business. and i have nothing to show for. 27 years and i have nothing :(
Part Two: Reason
the only reason i can think of is that i get easily fed up with things. once i've tried it once or twice, the allure lessens and i move on to other things. money is also an issue. i have only one source of it and if i loose it, i'm a goner.
Realization
as i think of my passion now, the only thing i can think of is that i Love to Travel. if there is a way that i can do that for pay, i will. i love to see new things, experience new sounds, taste and culture. that is probably why i like languages (not a passion, too coz i quit the last class i was on. it wasn't worth the trouble with the kind of teacher i had). i like to take photos but i'm not passionate about it that i'd splurge 300USD for a camera nor have the patience to actually compose a beautiful picture. i live for the moment and yet sometimes, i don't particularly see the value of living for the moment when one can enjoy her passion as long as God wills it.
Lost
so what is My Passion? i'd like to know.
that is one of the reasons why i am totally lost and sad sometimes. i have nothing to show for. i am not passionate about anything. not my work, not my studies, not my puzzles, not my scrapbooks, not my love for photographs. not even the exercises i try to do once a week. not even my bible reading!
how can i go on? how will i change things? others i know are passionate about their family, their sports, their business. and i have nothing to show for. 27 years and i have nothing :(
Part Two: Reason
the only reason i can think of is that i get easily fed up with things. once i've tried it once or twice, the allure lessens and i move on to other things. money is also an issue. i have only one source of it and if i loose it, i'm a goner.
Realization
as i think of my passion now, the only thing i can think of is that i Love to Travel. if there is a way that i can do that for pay, i will. i love to see new things, experience new sounds, taste and culture. that is probably why i like languages (not a passion, too coz i quit the last class i was on. it wasn't worth the trouble with the kind of teacher i had). i like to take photos but i'm not passionate about it that i'd splurge 300USD for a camera nor have the patience to actually compose a beautiful picture. i live for the moment and yet sometimes, i don't particularly see the value of living for the moment when one can enjoy her passion as long as God wills it.
Lost
so what is My Passion? i'd like to know.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
stressed and afraid
i am too stressed out today. i found out that my supervisor had a meeting with the company president and the president commented that we were working so slow for this project i'm handling. i am afraid that my efforts for the last several months are not up to par and that it is lacking and incomplete. i am not blaming anyone but i guess my output is just as much as i know. as everyone knows, one cannot identify what one do not know.
i am afraid that i will be found lacking, or worst, be told that my work is not worth anything.
what if i get fired? if not fired then what if i get a thrashing from my bosses and i won't be given another chance to learn? as it is, with what i have, it's just like doing the work so i can learn and not doing the work to give a result.
i've been asked questions earlier today that i have no answers to, when in fact, it should have been me who could answer them because i am the one focused on that work. i feel so sad and so afraid i may not be able to deliver what they want on time. i'm running out of time....
i am afraid that i will be found lacking, or worst, be told that my work is not worth anything.
what if i get fired? if not fired then what if i get a thrashing from my bosses and i won't be given another chance to learn? as it is, with what i have, it's just like doing the work so i can learn and not doing the work to give a result.
i've been asked questions earlier today that i have no answers to, when in fact, it should have been me who could answer them because i am the one focused on that work. i feel so sad and so afraid i may not be able to deliver what they want on time. i'm running out of time....
*****
on a lighter note, other items for my Christmas wish list:
1. pajama set (coz i don't own one)
2. la senza lingerie :)
Friday, September 5, 2008
early Christmas wish list
things are going so fast right now and i've been thinking of what i want to receive this Christmas. i'm posting the things i want here starting today and come first week of December, i'll post my top ten. thinking off the hat, i want two things:
1. Nikon D60 DSLR camera
2. pedometer - so i can count the number of steps i take in a day. ten thousand steps/day can help you become healthier!
1. Nikon D60 DSLR camera
2. pedometer - so i can count the number of steps i take in a day. ten thousand steps/day can help you become healthier!
three things i learned today
1. if you want something done right, do it yourself.
2. however people, especially your boss, treat you at the office, you tend to retain and bring it at home.
3. if you want help in flattening your belly, improve your posture.
and i guess, another story from today...
my friend showed me that if a person really wants something done for you, he will do it. like her guy who just sent her a box of chocolates when he is still in italy while she's in new york. then calling her up to let her know he's fine and to know if she got his "surprise." isn't that so cute and so sweet? i never did get that kind of thing from him. i could say as an excuse that the situation is different for us, but still.. he could have at least made the effort. i'm beginning to see things that i've missed out and things that i shouldn't ever take for granted. just because i love a guy doesn't mean that he could get away from missing things that he should have done to show that he loves me back.
*sigh* oh well...
mike once said to me that you never really get what you want at the time you want it. L also said that you can have everything you want but not at the same time.
*****
tomorrow is capoeira day. i mean i'm not joining but M and I are going to check out the class at the university in the morning. hope we'll like it *fingers crossed*
2. however people, especially your boss, treat you at the office, you tend to retain and bring it at home.
3. if you want help in flattening your belly, improve your posture.
and i guess, another story from today...
my friend showed me that if a person really wants something done for you, he will do it. like her guy who just sent her a box of chocolates when he is still in italy while she's in new york. then calling her up to let her know he's fine and to know if she got his "surprise." isn't that so cute and so sweet? i never did get that kind of thing from him. i could say as an excuse that the situation is different for us, but still.. he could have at least made the effort. i'm beginning to see things that i've missed out and things that i shouldn't ever take for granted. just because i love a guy doesn't mean that he could get away from missing things that he should have done to show that he loves me back.
*sigh* oh well...
mike once said to me that you never really get what you want at the time you want it. L also said that you can have everything you want but not at the same time.
*****
tomorrow is capoeira day. i mean i'm not joining but M and I are going to check out the class at the university in the morning. hope we'll like it *fingers crossed*
Thursday, September 4, 2008
the books
today i completed the set for my sword of truth series. okay, not actually Totally completed it because the last one's paperback is not yet out in the market. anyway, i started reading this series when i was in college. it was introduced to me by a friend. i didn't want to read it at first because the first book was too thick and i didn't think i'd have the chance to read it. when i decided to read it, i went straight to the middle. the story got me hooked and made me realize that i should start from the beginning. from there on, i moved on through the years reading each book in the series as soon as it goes out in the market.
it was then a very happy day a few days ago when a friend sent me an article that announces the making of the first book into a tv series and will be airing on november. isn't that exciting? and then another friend told me that the paperback will be out on october! and today, i got the book i'm missing in the series! wow! i can now go on reading any parts of the series whenever i like! yes!
it was then a very happy day a few days ago when a friend sent me an article that announces the making of the first book into a tv series and will be airing on november. isn't that exciting? and then another friend told me that the paperback will be out on october! and today, i got the book i'm missing in the series! wow! i can now go on reading any parts of the series whenever i like! yes!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
oxymoron
this is it! ang tagal ko nang hinahanap to. i remember, nasa school email ko ito and since di ko na sya naa-access ngayon, di ko makita copy ko. fortunately, may ibang mga bloggers who posted it online kaya eto, kinopya ko ulit para sa blog ko. kung sinuman ang nagsulat nito, salamat.
*****
Ang Puno't Dulo ng Pag-Ibig
Nakakatawa talaga ang love. Isa siyang napakalaking oxymoron. Lahat ng pwede mong masabi sa kanya, baliktarin mo at totoo pa rin.
Ang labo diba? Pero ang linaw.
Masaya magmahal. Malungkot magmahal. Di mo naiintindihan pero naiintindihan mo. Walang rason. Maraming rason. Di mo na kaya, pero kaya mo pa rin. Masakit magmahal. Pero okey lang. Leche, ano ba talaga?! May kaibigan ako, sabi niya dati “Love is only for stupid people.” Nakakatawa kasi laude ang standing niya, pero dumating ang panahon, na-in-love din ang hunghang. At ayun, tanga na siya ngayon. Lahat kasi ng nahahawakan ng love nagiging oxymoron din. O kaya paminsan, nagiging moron lang.
Hindi lang kasi basta baliktaran ang pag-ibig. Lahat ng bagay nababaligtad din niya. Lahat ng malalakas na tao, humihina. Ang mayayabang, nagpapakumbaba. Ang mga walang pakialam, nagiging Mother Teresa. Ang mga henyo, nauubusan ng sagot. Ang malulungkot, sumasaya. Ang matitigas, lumalambot. (At tumitigas din ang mga bagay na madalas nama’y malambot.) Nakakatawa talaga. Lalo na kapag dumadating siya sa mga taong ayaw na talaga magmahal. Napansin ko nga eh. Parang kung gusto mo lang ma-in-love ulit, sabihin mo lang ang magic words na “Ayoko na ma-inlove!” biglang WACHA! Ayan na siya. Nang-aasar. Magpapaasar ka naman.
Di ba nakakatawa rin na pagdating sa problema ng ibang tao, ang galing galing mo? Pero ‘pag problema mo na yung pinag-uusapan parang nawawalan ng saysay lahat ng ipinayo mo dun sa namomroblemang tao? Naiisip mong wala namang mali dun sa mga sinabi mo. Pero bakit parang wala ring tama? Bali-baliktad din ang nasasabi ng mga taong tinamaan ng madugong pana ng pag-ibig. “Ngayon ko lang nalaman ganito pala. Sabi ko na eh!” “Ang sarap mabuhay. Pwede na ‘ko mamatay. Now na!”
At hindi lang ‘yon. Ang sarap din pagtawanan ng mga taong alam naman nilang masasaktan lang sila eh magpapatihulog pa rin sa bangin ng pag-ibig. Tapos ‘pag luray-luray na yung puso nila, siyempre hindi sila yung may kasalanan. Siya! “Bakit niya ‘ko sinaktan?” May kasama pang pagsuntok sa pader yon at pagbabagsak ng pinto. Hayop talaga. Mauubos ang buong magdamag ko kakasabi ng mga bagay na nakakatawa ‘pag pag-ibig na ang pinag-usapan. Ang daming beses ko na kasi siya nakasalubong kaya masasabi ko nang eksperto na ‘ko. Pero wala pa rin akong alam. Pero ang pinakanakakatawa sa lahat ay ang katotohanang kapag gusto magpatawa ng pag-ibig, ipusta na mo na lahat ng ari-arian mo dahil siguradong ikaw ang punchline.
Nakakatawa no?
Nakakaiyak.
*****
Ang Puno't Dulo ng Pag-Ibig
Nakakatawa talaga ang love. Isa siyang napakalaking oxymoron. Lahat ng pwede mong masabi sa kanya, baliktarin mo at totoo pa rin.
Ang labo diba? Pero ang linaw.
Masaya magmahal. Malungkot magmahal. Di mo naiintindihan pero naiintindihan mo. Walang rason. Maraming rason. Di mo na kaya, pero kaya mo pa rin. Masakit magmahal. Pero okey lang. Leche, ano ba talaga?! May kaibigan ako, sabi niya dati “Love is only for stupid people.” Nakakatawa kasi laude ang standing niya, pero dumating ang panahon, na-in-love din ang hunghang. At ayun, tanga na siya ngayon. Lahat kasi ng nahahawakan ng love nagiging oxymoron din. O kaya paminsan, nagiging moron lang.
Hindi lang kasi basta baliktaran ang pag-ibig. Lahat ng bagay nababaligtad din niya. Lahat ng malalakas na tao, humihina. Ang mayayabang, nagpapakumbaba. Ang mga walang pakialam, nagiging Mother Teresa. Ang mga henyo, nauubusan ng sagot. Ang malulungkot, sumasaya. Ang matitigas, lumalambot. (At tumitigas din ang mga bagay na madalas nama’y malambot.) Nakakatawa talaga. Lalo na kapag dumadating siya sa mga taong ayaw na talaga magmahal. Napansin ko nga eh. Parang kung gusto mo lang ma-in-love ulit, sabihin mo lang ang magic words na “Ayoko na ma-inlove!” biglang WACHA! Ayan na siya. Nang-aasar. Magpapaasar ka naman.
Di ba nakakatawa rin na pagdating sa problema ng ibang tao, ang galing galing mo? Pero ‘pag problema mo na yung pinag-uusapan parang nawawalan ng saysay lahat ng ipinayo mo dun sa namomroblemang tao? Naiisip mong wala namang mali dun sa mga sinabi mo. Pero bakit parang wala ring tama? Bali-baliktad din ang nasasabi ng mga taong tinamaan ng madugong pana ng pag-ibig. “Ngayon ko lang nalaman ganito pala. Sabi ko na eh!” “Ang sarap mabuhay. Pwede na ‘ko mamatay. Now na!”
At hindi lang ‘yon. Ang sarap din pagtawanan ng mga taong alam naman nilang masasaktan lang sila eh magpapatihulog pa rin sa bangin ng pag-ibig. Tapos ‘pag luray-luray na yung puso nila, siyempre hindi sila yung may kasalanan. Siya! “Bakit niya ‘ko sinaktan?” May kasama pang pagsuntok sa pader yon at pagbabagsak ng pinto. Hayop talaga. Mauubos ang buong magdamag ko kakasabi ng mga bagay na nakakatawa ‘pag pag-ibig na ang pinag-usapan. Ang daming beses ko na kasi siya nakasalubong kaya masasabi ko nang eksperto na ‘ko. Pero wala pa rin akong alam. Pero ang pinakanakakatawa sa lahat ay ang katotohanang kapag gusto magpatawa ng pag-ibig, ipusta na mo na lahat ng ari-arian mo dahil siguradong ikaw ang punchline.
Nakakatawa no?
Nakakaiyak.
BER (bbrrrr) Months ahead!
yesterday was the start of the BER months!
can't wait for Christmas to come so i can enjoy the long vacation being with my family and friends. can't wait to shop for a gift for sachi. and as i'm writing this, i'm thinking of the things i need to do for December. well, it's better to be prepared than do nothing at all!
Things to Do on December (or way before that, not in particular order):
1. buy/have Mama send my Christmas gifts for my officemates
2. buy Sachi his gift. think of a gift.
3. buy Wena, Ma and Pa's gifts. Kuya and Ate Dang's gifts.
4. buy Devil's Food Cake for B for her belated bday gift.
5. buy Carol's congratulations gift from any silver jewelry shop. what to buy her for Christmas?
6. call Drifter on Christmas day. call, not txt.
7. send Zedric and Carlanne gifts. (so that's three kid gifts now).
8. attend the company party.
9. organize a night out with
a) the girls at the office
b) kalay friends
c) college friends
10. organize a despedida party for tom, and dan and joe who are all moving to perth by the end of the month.
11. what to give Fem and Jeanrummy?
12. Christmas Holiday project: scan family photos and HS photos (gift for other classmates who are interested?)
13. send out ecards to friends abroad: becky, homer, kiwi, bams and fx, tom, dan and jo, tutsirol, etc.
14. argh! gifts for the other girls at the office? what's a good memento but still inexpensive?
ok, ok. so i'm looking at the buying and organizing as the things that will require much of my time and effort. i guess i can start the buying now and the organizing a month ahead. that's probably in november, or after my trip to cebu.
will keep you, nameless readers, updated on the progress of my things to do list... :)
can't wait for Christmas to come so i can enjoy the long vacation being with my family and friends. can't wait to shop for a gift for sachi. and as i'm writing this, i'm thinking of the things i need to do for December. well, it's better to be prepared than do nothing at all!
Things to Do on December (or way before that, not in particular order):
1. buy/have Mama send my Christmas gifts for my officemates
2. buy Sachi his gift. think of a gift.
3. buy Wena, Ma and Pa's gifts. Kuya and Ate Dang's gifts.
4. buy Devil's Food Cake for B for her belated bday gift.
5. buy Carol's congratulations gift from any silver jewelry shop. what to buy her for Christmas?
6. call Drifter on Christmas day. call, not txt.
7. send Zedric and Carlanne gifts. (so that's three kid gifts now).
8. attend the company party.
9. organize a night out with
a) the girls at the office
b) kalay friends
c) college friends
10. organize a despedida party for tom, and dan and joe who are all moving to perth by the end of the month.
11. what to give Fem and Jeanrummy?
12. Christmas Holiday project: scan family photos and HS photos (gift for other classmates who are interested?)
13. send out ecards to friends abroad: becky, homer, kiwi, bams and fx, tom, dan and jo, tutsirol, etc.
14. argh! gifts for the other girls at the office? what's a good memento but still inexpensive?
ok, ok. so i'm looking at the buying and organizing as the things that will require much of my time and effort. i guess i can start the buying now and the organizing a month ahead. that's probably in november, or after my trip to cebu.
will keep you, nameless readers, updated on the progress of my things to do list... :)
karl day
yesterday was karl day.
at lunch, E told me that one of the guys in her office, whom she had never met but my other acquaintances know of, moved to nz and is now working in the same company as karl's. can you believe it? it's such a small world! a fellow scientist working near him. wow, kind of a 'so near, yet so far' drama! :)
then later, i got a call from A telling that my labmates whom karl met before when he was in the country met him again at a conference at iceland! argh! the same people we met before where there again. it would have been fun to see them again, like gropelli who got married already and mike. speaking of mike, i heard that he asked what happened between karl and i considering that "i like karl a lot!" wow! i don't know if i should laugh or cry. i know they mean well, but heck! it's so embarrassing. these guys pressing him, because they know i like him. hello! it's been almost three years! but hey, i did like the guy - and crazily, too!
it was really a giddy moment though, knowing that my friends would think that we could have a chance of making it! it's thrilling and it's making blush! i can't stop but just be hyper about all of it.
what's not nice about it all though is that karl just spent his time smiling at everyone whenever asked about me. didn't he have anything to say?! argh! and he's just sending me his regards! argh! what was that?! he could have said that we text and email from time to time, don't you think. hmmm what if he doesn't really want to be associated with me? so what the hell? then don't, right? it's so irritating! he is sooo irritating!
*****
what made me happy despite all that was what my friends strat and ross said: they like drifter better than karl. =))
at lunch, E told me that one of the guys in her office, whom she had never met but my other acquaintances know of, moved to nz and is now working in the same company as karl's. can you believe it? it's such a small world! a fellow scientist working near him. wow, kind of a 'so near, yet so far' drama! :)
then later, i got a call from A telling that my labmates whom karl met before when he was in the country met him again at a conference at iceland! argh! the same people we met before where there again. it would have been fun to see them again, like gropelli who got married already and mike. speaking of mike, i heard that he asked what happened between karl and i considering that "i like karl a lot!" wow! i don't know if i should laugh or cry. i know they mean well, but heck! it's so embarrassing. these guys pressing him, because they know i like him. hello! it's been almost three years! but hey, i did like the guy - and crazily, too!
it was really a giddy moment though, knowing that my friends would think that we could have a chance of making it! it's thrilling and it's making blush! i can't stop but just be hyper about all of it.
what's not nice about it all though is that karl just spent his time smiling at everyone whenever asked about me. didn't he have anything to say?! argh! and he's just sending me his regards! argh! what was that?! he could have said that we text and email from time to time, don't you think. hmmm what if he doesn't really want to be associated with me? so what the hell? then don't, right? it's so irritating! he is sooo irritating!
*****
what made me happy despite all that was what my friends strat and ross said: they like drifter better than karl. =))
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